Wednesday, August 23, 2006

look for me near sunset

on the hump day, the third day, where jupiter sets in the westerly sky. it is there and then that the captain shall be revealed.

74 comments:

fairy butler said...

corny, i hope i can park my unicericlops on the street. i wonder if there is alternate side parking.

sloth said...

FB, will you give me a lift to the party? I'll ride on the handlebar.

fb said...

sloth, the handlebar is all yours, of course!

I am going crazy right now at beige - bucking bronco over here.

fairy butler said...

wow, last night was fun! I'm all tuckered out this morning - - but NOT hungover. Which means I am back in drinking shape. Phew.

Sadly, i have to admit that the hating is turned on for me today. It's like i'm coming down from all the fun and love over the past few days. So, Hating everyone @ beige this morning. the guy behind me with the ouiji board (real), the people who have to stir and doctor their coffee for 10 minutes and get in my way and wear annoying shoes. The stupid conversations. The fact that I have to come in here and do this fart dance one more day. I'm over it.

fairy butler said...

sloth, will you come and spray me with the love mister? Me needs.

fairy butler said...

Also, sorry, i am going on here, but I was all on fire with the opinions last night. It's ok, right? Adhoc and I were having a war of the books but then we were able to extend the olive branch at the end. Sometimes I wonder if I appear crazy and annoying to others cause I can get kind of worked up.

now i have to go publish random articles on mental illnesses in the workplace. Again, this is true.

fb shithead said...

ok. second morning in a row where ouiji board dude eats yogurt and makes little scraping noises over cube getting every last bit.

Corny said...

I love a strong opinion. My strong opinion is that most people are scared to say what they think and stand behind it. Ya know? So what books were you arguing about?
PS, yes it's ok, you are much loved.

Corny said...

The unicericlops looks like he got punched in the mouth. Was his OnStar service getting fresh with you?

peeds said...

FB, you should hear UGGS eating her cereal in the morning. Aside from the reverberating jaw-chomping noise, there is the clickety-clank of spoon on bowl. SERENITY NOW!!! At least you know that Mr. Ouiji will soon be a distant, if unpleasant, memory.

So good to see you last night...although I missed talking to you. I was too busy cackling loudly for all to hear. Shame, that is all I can say. And I regret that I missed the book wars conversation. That I would have loved.

fairy butler said...

peeds, as I was typing about the book wars I was thinking that very thing - that you shoulda been involved in that one. God, now i realize i was spouting off about that other book just the other day. What is my problem?! And the spoon clinkles and scrapes are TERRIBLE to hear. I pretty much can't deal with the sound of nibbling at the desk in any form which is why i eat in the lunch room mostly.

The hot topic book in dispute from last night - Martin Amis, London Fields. That book drove me CRAZY but, I was obsessed with it too. LIke I hated it so much I couldn't stop reading it. Adhoc read it twice. I loved the corrections, and staggering work of .... yadda yadda. Oh, it went on and on with my declaring my utter annoyance with Underworld (why did I read the whole thing, why?) and Pynchon's Vineland (hiss, spit, no!, but again I read it all like a psycho).

Thanks for putting up with me. I am glad you like the strong opinions corny as I got em. yikes. me scary.

fairy butler said...

okay, another annoying book: that thing about the town in with the book of dreams of whatever. they made a movie. It started out charming and good and by the third chapter I couldn't take it anymore. Ugh. what is it again. I think we have discussed this already anyway.

My mind = sieve. really. I'm surprised i know my name some days.

fairy butler said...

jonathon safran foer or something like that.

hammy said...

noodle soup. I have to eat my dinner at my desk every night so I am grody too. I don't care. I want to torment.

hammy said...

Everything is illuminated. I didn't finish, but everybody loved it.

hammy said...

day 3- wearing the same clothes to work.

fairy butler said...

thank you hams. right.

for you to eat at the desk = OK hams. because you are good and cute and not the hooded ouiji board guy.

fairy butler said...

i broke down and took a shower today. plus i used the real toilet.

hammy said...

BTW FB, I thought you were excellent and funny last night. Not freakish bad in the slightest. And why does he have a oiji board? what does he do with it at work? Seances at night?

dubz said...

i walked in an hour late today, then proceeded to lecture other donut werkers about how retarded it is that we're all continuing to werk so hard when the bosses aren't even here. i thought they'd all breathe a sigh of relief and agree with my excellent proposal to have party today instead. but they stared at me in disbelief. totally bummed me out.

dubz said...

i showered but put on the same shirt i had on tuesday. same pants as monday. also apparently got dressed in the dark because every color of the spectrum is represented in a horrible way.

fb said...

dubz, WHAT CHUMPS! i'm disgusted & sorry you have to put up with that. Funny, my 'bosses' are both not in today too. Why doesn't everyone get to work from home? Whatever, i just need to get through another week.

Dubz, maybe you should strike. I can wear a rat suit and stand outside the shoppee.

fb shithead said...

yes, let's address the ouiji board. this person just shows up at the pen behind me and puts up the ouiji board immediately. for some reason i have taken to giggling when he walks by, for no reason. i am going to hell. soon.

hams said...

Is there a speaker/intercom in the donut shop dubz? If so that is an excellent forum. I have a REAL genuine loud speaker/bull horn under my desk. Swiped from the underworld. I have only used it on vacations when most are away, but it comforts me to have it handy. I will loan it to you.

dubz said...

yes! we have an intercom system. i will announce the strike that way. i have one dude who's with me -- the rest of them are twerps. hams, please fedex me the bullhorn. i'll DHL it back.

dubz said...

a ouija board at beige? odd. that guy needs to eat a batch of spoiled yogurt and spend the rest of the day in the crapper.

peeds said...

All I want to do is blog today. I eat quietly at my desk sometimes. No cackling. My boss is famous for eating, and choking, while talking on the phone. Very classy.

But I could not read Foer, either. Uggs here is in love with him and wants to marry him. Ew! But I can't tolerate his writing. I read London Fields years ago and remember feeling an intense annoyance with it. But I also felt sad because I thought I needed to give it another chance. I think I will.

Ham Solo! I adore you.

Corny said...

Peeds eating cereal at the desk is not ok, I can bearly deal with listing to Mrs. Cub eat her cereal in the morning, got that would seriously drive me out of the building. Can you say something like "just stop alreaty", or "why don't you just drive that spoon straight into my ear?"

I listened to Vineland on tape and was glad I didn't spend more time reading it. The first chapter was memorable. I couldn't get into Everything is illuminated, is it worth trying again?

pd said...

I can't blog fast enough today. People keep talking to me. UGGGGGGGG

Corny said...

His writing style made me feel stabby. Jonathan Safran Foer sucks. Lets kill him

dubz said...

since we aren't allowed to venture out of the compound, i'm forced to eat lunch at my desk along with the other slaves.

p.s. mr. dubz eating his morning bagel is a smackfest i can barely endure.

pd said...

Yeah, didn't read Vineland, but liked The Crying of Lot 49.

pd said...

Dubz, upon re-entry, I feel your co-workers are dumbz.

fb said...

I agree corny, let's kill JSF. I've had about enough of him and his "genius."

i feel like i might lose it here today. styr-crazee.

fb said...

pds, i have heard that 'the crying' is the good one. put it on the list. listening to u.fritz last night talk about his books on tape makes me want to try out the listening method. instead of the npr stuff i usually listen to which leaves me with a suicidal, world ending feeling usually. and i hate their practical jokes and shit.

fb said...

uncle fritz listened to ulysses and the accompanying lectures and proust on tape and maybe moby dick too. this is the only way i will ever tackle these books i think.

god, i have so much codetoad learning to do soon. in anticipation of getting paying beige. anxiety is ever present. it just pops up in the head and freaks me out then i push it aside. under pressure.

fairy butler said...

how is it noon already? How?

peeds said...

I want to try books on tape too, especially if they are read by british people. That would make me love every book. And I love people reading to me.
I am so bad about NPR. In grad school, while I was blasting Prince and such, my neighbors were blasting NPR. I couldn't stand it. Then one woman would run around telling everyone all the bad news--in case they haven't heard it.

peeds said...

I am hungry. It is Uggs' b-day and she chose a new place to order lunch from (since the company is buying) and is ordering up a storm for herself. Jeez. As long as I get my mac n cheese...

pd said...

how many times can i use the word love today? i hate myself for it.

ADHoc said...

Hey FB. Rest assured, no harm was done vis a vis our little critic's corner showdown last night -- though I do wish you would stop cramming that Dan Brown down my throat. The da Vinci Code is not art history, I don't care what you say. Martin Amis is a polarizing writer -- I know a lot of people that don't like him and couldn't get into London Fields. I don't know why but it spoke to me, though I do think he is a wildely uneven writer. The quality of his books seems directly proportional to their thickness -- his thin little "experimental" (Times Arrow, Night Train) are a drag. Amis is also a big Nabokov fan as am I so maybe we can relate on that level. He can really put a sentence together. Anyway, I digress . . .

Underworld = Tedious, and what the fuck was it about?

Gravity's Rainbow = Will never get that copraphagia scene out of my head,

Infinite Jest = The pretentious ramblings of a pot-addled teenager.

My Idea of Fun = Psychologically damaging -- Called for a "Silkwood shower" after reading it.

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius = Way to precious. Frisbee playing is not deep.

But honestly, can you really trust the literary opinions of someone who obsessively reads the nautical fiction on Patrick O'Brian?

pd said...

AdHoc (aka Mr. Gives The best Hugs)
you must go here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcfour/audiointerviews/profilepages/nabokovv1.shtml

Sorry, I'm not a link master. Please cut and paste. You will not be disappointed.

pd said...

Okay, that cut off. let me try again http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcfour/audiointerviews/profilepages/nabokovv1.shtml

ADHoc said...

PD. Thanks for the hugs props. I must say, you win prized for most huggable, indeed.

My curiousity is peaked with the link. Maybe this will be helpful.

dubz said...

i liked hugging all of you. smacky kisses were fun too. also HUGZ rhymes with DUBZ.

pd said...

You get the best kiss award, by far Dubz. I will never wash my neck again.

I emailed the link to Slothy, cause I don't have your address Mr. Hugs.

ADHoc said...

The original Huggy shizzel . . .

shamed ham said...

I am woefully unable to perform my job here. Just screwed up ROYALLY. I wonder if I am stupid or just not in the right fit. I don't understand things and I just got publically scolded. yucks

pd said...

Oh Huggy! I can just see him struttin' in his platform shoes.

Ham Solo, the force is with you. Take out your light-stick-wand type thing to deflect the scolds. They are the mutants.

pd said...

FB, I am sorry to fill up your comment box. I just had lunch with Uggs and co. (just the 3 of us) and I coulda sworn she was wearing mini-microphones under her shirt. But Uggs was stabbing her fork into the plate in quick moves--each time hitting the bottom with a loud clank--EACH TIME. That's about 89 clanks in 6 minutes. So loud I thought the neighbors would file a noise complaint.

hams said...

I am starting a campaign to STOP UGGS! NOW! FOREVER!

pd said...

Oh Hams, I thank you. I will do whatever you need with regard to the suits and tubers in your world.
We have cupcakes next...she's gonna chomp like a woman with dentures, I'm sure.

fairy butler said...

hi. pd, that fork sound is ringing in my ears while I am giggling at my desk. WE MUST STOP UGGS!!!

okay, i am working on an article here @ beige for the 'women's health' section: some excerpts:

1. Nevertheless, there is a growing trend of parents giving implants as gifts to their graduating 18-year-old adolescents

2. Aptoemnophiles, first described in 1977, constitute a small group of individuals who have an attraction to the idea of changing their identities by becoming amputees.[31] This rare paraphilia sometimes leads the afflicted to self-amputation; a few physicians outside of the United States have occasionally accommodated amputee seekers by removing limbs for "cosmetic purposes

3. Furries, lovers of anthropomorphized animals, sometimes adopt the personae of animals, either through costumes or body modification.[32] For example, some tiger furries cover their bodies with striped tattoos, get dental implants with canines sharpened to resemble tiger teeth, have plastic whiskers implanted, wear special contact lenses to make their eyes appear oval, and have mouth, nose, and ear surgery to make themselves more catlike.

4.Over 100,000 neutered male dogs and cats in 37 countries have had artificial testicular implants called Neuticles surgically implanted in their scrotums, ostensibly to help them "retain their macho swagger

5. At least 1 surgeon has proposed the surgical construction of wings that someday may be functional, a development foreshadowed by the musings of Renaissance genius Leonardo da Vinci. Another physician has promised to create a human/animal chimera, albeit not through surgery but through genetic engineering, just as the military has studied the prospects of engineering a class of super-soldiers.

fairy butler said...

hi adhoc! I hope we can meet again for another book showdown. Glad I wasn't too off the deep end.

sloth said...

Ms. Uggs needs a sheepskin head-cozy, I am thinking. She would probably fall asleep, like a pet bird with a cage-cover...

dubz said...

i think i dated a guy with artificial testicular implants. they felt SOOOO real.

hammy said...

fake testes, flying, breast implants, and amputees

derivatives, off-shore financing, hedging, nose hairs, water contamination, shoplifting, the holocost, campus rape, birthday parties for convicts, hearing voices.

pd said...

#5!!! I want #5 to come true. I could fly on outta here.
I have seen photos of the animal teeth people and boy is it scary. WHY??
Oh Uggs. Sigh.

I am remembering some of my drunken shouts from the wee hours last night and I'm none too proud. As they say on the badminton court...SORRY.

dubz said...

peeds i love your outbursts. i actually thought you were too subdued. i wanted to see some robot moves. i also secretly wanted MM to take her shirt off. SORRY.

dubz said...

oh and i was hoping mcfarland would show up and we could sing "reunited" together. that would have been www.wickedawesome.com.

Anonymous said...

www.neuticals.com

hammy said...

I had a student who was a furry. She was a really sweet girl.

arthur on location yo said...

"holocost"?

Is that the going rate for genocidal holography?

arthur on location yo said...

and fb,
that mention of implants...

we were just talking about someone who's nose collapsed. Just desserts if you have your first nose job when you are 13.

fb confused said...

arthur, holocost? explain.

pd said...

Dubz, I think you left when I called for more lap dances. I got 3 of 'em. I had the same secret wish, by the way.

Speaking of which...FB, I posted a letter for you.

peeds said...

Dubz, you took me to the gutter once again.

McFarland was there. We made out.

dubz said...

i think i saw mcfarland's kruller last night. can't be sure. i don't think i know how to get out of the gutter. sorry fb, for trashing up your blog.

krixfort said...

FURRIES!!!!

Awwwwww, FB. That reminds me of the first night I met all y'all in the 'burg. Hampaw and I had a whole conversation about furries because I never heard of such a thing.

Hi guys. I came up for a breath. Sorry I missed everyone. AGAIN.

sloth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sloth said...

Dubz, are you sure it was a kruller and not a TastyKake? Or possibly a Yellowkake?

Hi Krix! You were missed for realz!

Corny said...

I think I found mcfarland's kruller/TastyKake on the ground this afternoon. Someone mashed a cigarette out in it.

MickyF, if you want your fixtures back you know where to find me.

McFarland said...

Dude! Ouch, I'm still trying o stop the bleeding. All this for the woman I love. It ain't worth it no more.

webmaster said...

you could to cite your sources.. (about this photo from
http//www.foto-figurines.com)