Monday, June 05, 2006

cat bite



Here is some for reals documentation of the cat bite from this weekend received through jeans. I have been swallowing a lot of foam when I'm not bending down to lick up the seeping pus.

In other news:
dances with relics this weekend, A.
car break down battery acid attack in home depot parking lot in rain after puzzling 10 minutes of trying to fit new plastic chair into hatchback, F.
code toading with the crickets and sex-loving earthworms last night, C.

waiting for candy delivery.

49 comments:

fairy butler said...

i fear amputation. legs are both mysteriously numb at upper thigh bridge to cellulite region. pus has turned lemon scented.

fairy butler said...

i just went to the mailroom. this month's candy box contains: crushed pineapple jelly beans, peaches & cream filled candies (suspicious of this), a small gummi pizza, small nerds, and giant box of gobstoppers.

sloth said...

FB! I worry. Was this wound inflicted by a known animal? Have you been treated for it? Worry, worry....

AlsoArthur said...

Make a poultice out of the odd sounding peaches and cream candy. Aplly to cat bite to fend off rabies induced psychosis.

AlsoArthur said...

oh, this animal is known. Known by all of the friends of the owners as shitty kitty. psycho kitty. Menace. Bastard kitty. Punted to the curb if they have a child kitty. Etc.

Thank god they declawed the little fucker. Uncountable scratches, but I've had no serious bite like the FB got. I'm no abuser, but I beat his shit with some mail and he hid for the rest of our visit.

fairy butler said...

I am after the nerds psychosis, I am packing them into the wound bed, flexing the calf this away and that.

(sloth, animal is known and ok - wound has been dosed - no worries)

AlsoArthur said...

oh, and yes. There was a worm orgy going on in our backyard last night. Mass couplings of worms. I felt like a voyeur.

fairy butler said...

sugar illness is setting in. insulin low. puke power strong.

sloth said...

aim for the cat, fb. aim for the cat...

deli-slicer said...

Oh no! FB, that is troubling. I can actually feel the sting. You must treat with gummy pizzas.

fairy butler said...

gummy poultices - stat.

i saw a black clad fellow this afternoon with a newly tatooed face. I wanted to read it. It was in monster-style script and covered with vaseline.

deli-slicer said...

FB, I like the photo where you are ready to slice up the knee for exploratory surgery. Or is it for the bbq?
Do not put gummy pizza with pepperoni--too much acid--will sting and stink.

Tattoo You said...

Was this fellow from a tribe in Australia, perhaps?

fairy butler said...

i think he was a member of the Avian Flu Gang Gang Dance - or STOMP.

tood said...

lol @ avian flu gang gang dance.


Cat bite,
on my leg.

It's not right,
'have to beg.

Daily to the filling station,
Underwater navigation...

fairy butler said...

http://eepybird.com/dcm1.html

sloth said...

O....

M....

G.

FB, that was FUCKING BRILLIANT!!! I am just gonna hang it up now.

pd said...

Thanks for this spectacle, FB!

toodster said...

That is so A.M. yesterday...


;p

burrito brother said...

this is a horrific story fb. i thought you were a friend to all furry quadropeds. i guess this one has a rap sheet? i guess he grew up in a bad situation... let's pray for his little soul.

sloth said...

fb, the worm rapes sound a lot more benign than the caterpillar rapes over at MM's place...

krixfort said...

OUCH! fb. that is from the devil's cat.

hiss.

fairy butler said...

the earthworms are friends i guess - the ants i am not so sure of. we had some gypsy moths last year. i didn't know what was going on before it was too late but this year no. i will dose with soap water. no to the gypsies.

krixfort said...

the gypsies listen to too much bad music, like stevie nicks.

krixfort said...

I hear that earthworms, on the other hand, enjoy classic rock. Please pass the Zep. Spiders like punk. Ants. I don't know what the Ants like. Probably grindcore.

ant said...

I like techno.

spider said...

I don't like punk. Where did you hear that?

krixfort said...

I don't know man. I just heard it.

earthworm said...

if this worm's a rockin', don't bother knockin'.

FREE BIRD!

krixfort said...

see?
I'm just sayin'.

krixfort said...

FB, do you have the cat scratch fever yet?

I think I do.

fairy butler said...

the ants are definitely into techno of any kind. they do a lot of meth out there which keeps them motivated on their project at hand - pulling out the new grass seedlings and taking them somewhere.

the fever is so strong krix that i am almost sick of the hearing the high pitched wail of electric guitar.

fairy butler said...

ADD today. no positive momentum. wasting time and space.

sloth said...

too.

krixfort said...

I am certainly a recycled oxygen theif here at beige today.

trying to read a tech manual. zzzz.

ant said...

here. borrow my headphones. this techno will keep you awake.

sloth said...

I'm ready to take on devilcat, just for something to do...

krixfort said...

no ant. I cannot. I am creating my own opera inside my head right now. It sounds a lot like Carmina Burana.

whirling dervish said...

take me on sloth. I dare you.

sloth said...

devilcat = thrash metal

krixfort said...

http://www.anthea2.freeuk.com/carminaburana/

for your enjoyment.

sloth said...

okay dervish, I'm ready. you won't know what hit ya.

my strategy is to bleed excessively all over you. you will be blinded and give up.

ant said...

I would like to speed that up and remix it.

whirling dervish said...

Mwa HA !!!! NO. I am whirling too fast for you. I am like Mad Molecules.

sloth said...

dude. I am SO gonna rearrange your molecules. you will be whirling so fast, all I have to do is stick my finger out & you'll fly to pieces!

this is the sloth technique of top from the bottom.

pd said...

Woo hoo! I got a case of Mad molecules too.

ted nugent said...

haha! gotcha fb! now YOU got the fever baby!

krixfort said...

did you survive the apocalypse, FB?

fairy butler said...

krix, the apocalypse has moved to my frontal lobe