Thursday, March 23, 2006
past the piles i spy...
walking to the train this morn i hustled my ragged form past the piles and through the cold. oh, there's a torn out sink against a tree, there's 10 sacks of sand and boulders, whatever. then up in the distance i spotted the gray, tight sweatpants, and the generous behind. could it be possible that i can make out the cellulite dimples from across the street? say it isn't so. next thought. i need to get myself a donut for beige this morning.
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they had no glazed ones left so just the sugared variety. it wasn't quite sweet enough.
beige has given me tennis elbow.
FB, can you use the powdered donuts as elbow-rests? Jelly would be even better.
i gobbled up the donuts immediately upon entrance to beige. i can feel the dimples forming in my behind by the way. little pin pricks.
i would like hide some jelly donuts in the 'special furniture' here at beige. the furniture we are warned to not mess up, to not leave pen marks, etc. i would like to head band into a jelly donut taped to the front of my puter screen about now.
but, i made a pact last night that I need to remain positive, see. I wonder if the banging could rearrange some of the furntiure inside my brain sac? get rid of that old wicker trunk and that old ottoman no one likes.
ok, a typo from god. instead of a head bang into a jelly donut a headband of jelly donuts. NOW we're talking.
chocolate cherry-jelly filled donuts - most like bodily messes.
okay, this is random. sent from daiel:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060322/us_nm/bars_dc
Well, they're about 30 years too late... could've gotten the Shrub offa the streets long ago. Shoot.
FB, we should all wear the jelly donuts to Art Brut, and do a headband head bang dork dance... wot say?
My special beige treat is to go under the slabs of the office tower for DD coffee. then I go to the snack kiosk and get bagged popcorn and sometimes buy a celeb mag if I'm feeling bad. I smuggle the mag upstairs and sneak read under my desk. Then a quick game of Noah's ark. Yesterday... master zookeeper. Ahhhh.
Have you seen the movie "Fear and Trembling?" This isn't Japan, but still strikingly similar to my beige experience. Except she was new to the job and hadn't fallen into the apathy vortex. It was so good. Really funny and way too familiar.
I saw it, Hammy! Really good movie. I can see you now, running around the office, setting everyone's calendar to the right date...
i saw most of fear & trembling - our copy from netflix bugged out about 3/4ths through. but i got the idea. hammy - say it isn't so. is it really like that? mean and crazy alienating nightmare?
i am sick of doing real work for beige now. ready to leave. drop out. i can't keep up with art. mole people here i come. they need artists underneath the slabs, right?
sometimes i feel bad because there is so much of the relic stuff out there that just doesn't interest me. it might be grumpy close-mindedness. i don't know.
plan tomorrow is to overhaul fb website with new relics, banish old stupid ones. etc.
should i try to sell the pillows online? or is it bad. i am thinking it is bad. ?? thoughts???
Sometimes I do tasks which require that I disrupt their desks. It gets them really worked up. the best part for me was the photocopying. the crooked page is my foe.
i prefer to stay safe in my dream world of swirling colors and indie-rock romance with creatures. i like it there.
arthur, yes, i saw that about the coyote yesterday. i wish they would come to bushwick. but no dog fights and no peanut eating.
hams, have you been asked to re-photocopy because of non-perfection like in the movie? for real?
It isn't that bad, but there are power structures everywhere and it has taken some time for me to navigate. Don't speak to this one, silence when the door is closed. And the waiting around. Always waiting to be called upon. When there is nothing to do I am supposed to appear busy. I'm letting my guard down on that one. Who cares?
I love the pillows!!!
I think I saw a coyote running across 23rd.
yes I have. on numerous occasions. But not for golf rules. Now I'm really careful. Photocopying can be hypnotic. I love it. How sick is that?
Rabid?
rabid coyote? no. rabid fb? maybe, not telling.
hp - you must take delight in what you can at the beige i find. it is ok.
hams, I had this job in college where I had to deliver computer ouput printouts to programmers. I got in a fight with one of the passive aggressive nerds about where to put his output. It was a fight without words. He didn't like where I left the output so he stacked a tower of things like mugs and boxes of kleenex and things so that I could not place anything on that space. I would just move the stuffs.
krix, that story jars my nerves. that kind of thing makes me psycho. psycho.
I love in the movie when she flies out the window. I do that too. Once a window actually opened on the 49th floor. It was wild.
I've worn the same clothes to work for the past 3 days. Is that passive aggressive?
i don't know. if it is generic enough the clothes will fly under the radar probably. i am hoping it is a stained lavender sweatsuit day 3.
black pants, (gray from overwashing). gray sweater (slightly pilling.) each day with new underwear and shirt under gray sweater. new earings to spice up outfit. hair in ponytail. wrinkling in pants due to prolonged sitting.
anonymous, this sounds perfect.
i just spent maybe 5 minutes on artnet which has left me annoyed, disgusted, and hopeless.
FB, do not do this to thyself. Give your brain-bone a good soaking in some trashy teevee... works everytime.
i am ready to give notice here. sick of it. sick of it. sick of it. but then i wonder, am i being immature and emotional, again. dramatic. working myself up for no reason.
i have to go to a meetin in 15 minutes. time will tell if i quit today. depends on what is said and how irritated i get. maybe i need meds.
I am stained and pilling on the inside. Hi you guys.
Artnet is evil, just looked, couldn't focus. It's not good, we should stay back.
fb, I have a sword you can borrow.
just point the way to beige and I will act.
something is wrong with me.
no Fb. No. I do not believe that.
I think the environment is toxic. That is the problem.
angry fb today. i should not blog on these days. embarrassing making. i am looking for the white noise in the head. i desire only blinding static and jarred input signals. thinking=dark spiral.
sometimes i do not like to be 'told to smile'
Here is today's scoop at my beige.
Pug is in passive aggressive best form today. She is the walk into you in the hallway variety. tuber is on a major power trip yelling at callers and bossing around the maintenence workers. (she calledd their boss to complain after chewing out.) gross. This is crazy making.
I curse those who tell me to smile. "what's the matter?" They ask. I say "please to go burn in hell now."
the person who said this to me meant well and is very sweet. it makes me feel bad that my mood is affecting others so that i why i left the lunch area early so as not to punish. but when strangers or baddies tell me to smile that is when the blade comes out.
this job gives me to much time to think. the dark side is too tempting. i cannot resist. thinking is bad for me. only doing. trying to edit website. less is more, right?
That is very annoying FB.
can you do some yoga tonight? Maybe try to do things that make you happy when you get home so this day isn't ruined by the beige.
anonymous has a good idea! maybe some contorting will fix today.
the day will be better at 5:15 when i return to the saltwater.
FB, i HATE it when people tell me to smile... I start to feel all homocidal and shit.
yes, Fb. I am tired of walking on land too.
hey I thought I was the only one with passive-aggressive clothes-wearing habits... I guess it's a universal reactionary tendency. And the faded black jeans are the "fuck you" pant of choice, aren't they? I've also started to do this cool thing where I drink 6 stolis after work and kill half my day off nursing a hangover. Is that passive agressive?
i used to enjoy the non-washed, show up half crazy thing, but haven't employed it much as of late.
i took off a jacket this morning and changed because it was so wrinkly and missing a button. looked like a shrunken head. if i would've worn it i bet i'd be less irritated.
bb, i saw a photo of your 'boss' on the artnet today.
maybe i am not drinking enough stoli?
H O W
am I going to get through the next hour and a half of beige? Somebody please put me into a medically-induced coma.........
icepick lobotomy would also suffice.
i'm not gonna last past 5:15. must escape. must escape. must go home and lie down with kitten.
YES fb, I too will lie down with kitten. I know it's copying, but consider it the sincerest form of flattery.
I just want you guys to know that I have been falling asleep in meetings all week. Visibly and horrible nodding out. Like narcolepsy.
I think it is the lack of high drama and tension.
I have orientation meetings next week with the heads of all the departments. I don not know what will be worse, nodding out like a junky or drinking so much caffeine that I look like a jittery coke addict.
krix, that sounds awful. i hate meetings. i always wonder when they are done why an email can't be sent around instead, especially when the meeting goes off on a tangent that has nothing to do with you.
this will be my monday.
FB: I totally want a donut after reading this post. I would like two or three of them. I am glazed and confused.
pd, you are a sugar dumpling!
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