Friday, June 10, 2005
hammerhead rat
Sorry, another episode from the real. A baby hammerhead rat (deformed, retarded, nuclear?) was spotted in our hydrangea bush. Arthur, god bless, just had to bash him dead with the gardening shovel. What the hell is going on in my life? This is insane. The two neighbor dogs were truly fucking(grody) and got stuck together lying on the ground whimpering. They are now unstuck - 5 minutes later - 5 creepy as shit minutes later. We are freaked out. This day is too bizarre. The vacant lot down the street was bought and there is a new home being built on it. There will be massive rat killing on this lot, there are sings on the fence. They must stay out of our yard. Arthur will bash them. I may have to buy a pellet gun.
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11 comments:
apocalypse is imminent
Drink the poisons to prepare yourself. Eat until bloating and wait for the pale horses to bring death. I am tapping my veins to come out for the injectibles which I have never tried but the apocalypse is a good time to do so. Hammerhead rats and stuck together dogs are, from what I have read, the first two signs.
Definitely the pestilence is a sign. The stuck-together dogs... a plague of some kind? Sloth looks very much forward to meeting Satan in person!
In the meantime, snap-traps are highly recommended. Sloth once killed 6 rats that way. Little fuckers.
Ugh! Rats. I was at my relic-shack the other night and as I was approaching the elevator a huge rat the size of a puppy crossed my path. Arthur...I need you.
the third member of my household, Gary says he would help with the rat killing but he is just a little guy and is only good with mice. it's the thought that counts.
sorry fb but I had to laugh about the dogs. truly gross but I am still snickering like a junior high school kid. I am not highly evolved.
we hope the hammerhead was an isolated, wayward tard and not the harbinger of badness to come. rat armies are turning against me? They promised to stay away from my area and have mostly stayed true to this. we shall see. we shall see.
arthur felt bad bashing the little one, btw, but it had to be.
I empathize with Arthur. I had to smash a mouse at my parents' place. I did it with a big stump of wood. I felt like a monster.
Smashing rats is a terrible experience, I would imagine. But we are glad he had the guts to smash.
arthur chased another one out of the yard and threw rocks at it. apocalypse I tell you. apocalypse.
we are getting a fence.
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