Monday, March 14, 2005

Lion King, I want to bite human flesh

Lion King,

Perhaps you can counsel me? I want to bite arm meat and suckle on the skin juices of my coworkers. Stay away people!!! I am hungry for flesh. I want to grind and swallow. Where is this coming from? Please I don't want to go to the joint. Butler! Where is my cafe? Why are the walls closing in around me? Why is everyone so insane!??

Meekly,
FB

12 comments:

Lion King said...

RRAAAAWWWWRRRR....I am mad because someone tied me up with rope. I was biting and kicking too much. I am typing with my nose and tongue now. It is taking forever.

If I can get out of my ropes I will come and bite your co-workers for you. You shouldn't have to get punished, you are too innocent. I WILL TAKE THE HEAT!! I am the ex-con.

fairy butler said...

Thanks LK. I may holler for your help. There are those that deserve a nip but mostly it is an impulse control situation. I will quell it with some fine Fresca soda. The cube world pens me in. Gollum...please help me!

Art Star said...

Fresca is a good soda. I may have to get some soda now too. I need to burp.

kitty said...

Fairy Butler, I have an excellent suggestion for you. You must draw pictures in secret at work of your coworkers with horrible wounds and vomit dribble. This really helps me. Sometimes there are knives involved. The drawings are cathartic! Good luck to you. I feel your pain!!!

Jerkie said...

Haha! You're one weird being. I'll visit again!

krixfort said...

Biting is good FB but gnawing is much more satisfactory. Unless the cublings are untasty. Then gnawing is not so good. Pointy objects like spears and stakes are much better.

lion king said...

Fairy butler, I did a little favor for you last night. You will soon see the results. Don't say I didn't do anything for you. Let me know if the surgeries worked. These were my first and I'm hoping I did it to the right people and that I got the right organ. I FEEL GREAT!!!! I"M BACK IN BUSINESS!

pinking shears said...

jeez you guys... i love my job of data entry. What gives? Mindless tapping is an effective way to change the world for the better! gosh.

Krixfort said...

FB, I can't get your Armory performance stills out of my head. Your work has a certain. . .je ne sais quoi. It haunts me today.

Krixfort said...

FB, I can't get your Armory performance stills out of my head. Your work has a certain. . .je ne sais quoi. It haunts me today.

mountain man said...

I love biting. Lion King, those surgeries were a great idea. I think I might have to perform one today. Maybe two. I know I can do it with my dull scissors!!!! GET READY EVERYONE!!!! IT'S TIME TO GET ALL CUT UP!!!!

mountain man said...

wow jerkie, you are intense. good luck with your project.