rainbow of the night - spread thee wings and cast upon thee the dust of cookies and cakes
Thursday, May 03, 2007
snowflake
something is going on in my hood that involves youngsters pointing out the fact that I am a paleface. last night i got the "hey snowflake" from some 15 year olds. i did not sense any trouble from this comment but sometimes i feel super lame walking by and not responding. am i supposed to respond "hey black dudes" and continue walking? it seems only fair but i kept my mouth shut. whatever. more annoying was the day before on the way home around 9 - everywhere i turned there were weirdos/hood-dudes/maybe-intoxicated-or-slow out and I had to cross the street a zillion times to avoid. then i walked through a bunch of kids playing - like 8-9 year olds maybe - they were fake singing etc. I caught the eye of this young girl as she belted out a tune by a parked car. then she changed the lyrics to "i hate white people" as i walked by. what is this about? for some reason it really bugged me. I have lived here 3+ years and have RARELY had a comment on my race. then 2 days in row. is it becuase there are more of us now? or was it just to impress her friends (i am sure it is) - what is even more lame is that a bunch of those kids know me. I have retrieved their wiffle ball many times. i say hi to their moms. anyhoo. since that bugged me so much now i am minorly weirded out. and i feel like the energy i am giving off is making more comments happen. paranoia right? not real fb. it's just kids. whatever, right? at least the little old ladies on my street like me. sigh.
honeslty, it is probably just randomness + spring fever + more people moving out here from w'burg. i saw some more moving into an apartment on my street the other day. this sounds crazy, why should I care who moves where, and I don't, but i feel that i draws more attention to me and it's not fair. i am talking crazy, i know.
ReplyDeleteAs you well know kids say stupid shit to try to impress friends. Thats what kids do. You could call them an original chocolate face, but you are not Borat. Di could give you the skinny on being one of 5 asians in her entire town as a kid. Lots of me chinese me play joke and hoing-toing-ta-toing-toing I'm sure. Just words eh? I say punish them with kindness.
ReplyDeleteYou really have a talent for telling a story FB. For reals.
ReplyDeleteI am more afraid of kids and teens than I am most big city dangers. They can be so mean and threatening. But I think Toods is right. Besides, having the old ladies on your side is no small thing.
FB, This is funny you say this because I was telling some friends this weekend about my nickname "snowflake" as well. I don't really mind being called snowflake, but I don't run about making comments about their ethnicity. Also last week a group of guys yelled at Damian and me that if we have any trouble we should call out "help us coons" then laughed hysterically at us. We were just walking down our block. Race relations are so stressful in my neighborhood. If there is any problem a neighbor of mine makes it racial if for example I complain about loud music till 5 in the morning. Jesus. I know plenty of people who are not white who would be offended by this treatment. Just get out of my face and treat me with respect as your neighbor. I don't know what the answer is. maybe speaking to the kids. I wish I could have a real conversation and relationship with my neighbor but he is set in his ways and is hateful. Kids are more open usually. Also it might help to be a commanding adult in this case. It depends on the ages I guess, because I've taught preteens who were totally scary and vitriolic.
ReplyDeleteTodd is right I am sure.
ReplyDeleteyeah, it's weird right? If some part of city culture is teaching its children to hate the white man - i wonder if it is something learned from other adults or what. hating the white man really begins the journey towards success, you know? jesus.
ReplyDeleteit seems like some of the under 30 set in my hood are the ones to look out for - - and i don't bother anyone. I let things be in general and don't report things I could, you know?
hopefully this snowflake moment will pass and things will go back to normal. maybe it is a good lesson for me to be the one ostracized?
i could get a gigantic sombrero or banner to wear that says WHITE and PROUD of it.
ReplyDeletethen i'd be asking for troubs.
or a trucker cap that says "i'm from vulcan"? which i am.
ReplyDeleteor Nanu, Nanu printed on your shirt.
ReplyDeleteThat's awful Hams. I encountered a lot of race relation problems in Philly, more so than here. Did you Hams? I was afraid of being in "center city" at night. And when I was confronted with racial comments I made sure I held my tongue. It was an awful feeling tho and so frustrating.
down under the slabs we welcome everyone as long as they aren't beige chumps.
ReplyDeleteThe hat is an olive branch
ReplyDeleteI remember riding my bike in West Philly and kids throwng broken bottles at me.
ReplyDeletehams, when kids start throwing things at me i will lose it. i will.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that will happen to you, because you live on that block and there are consequences to those actions. I just rode away fast.
ReplyDeletelast year a bunch of teenage girls down the street made fun of my outfit. i can't even remember why/what it was/ but i was so embarrassed walking by them after that. why are they so brazen and mean. i am old in their eyes. why bother with me?
ReplyDeleteHams, just remember my south street story: "What you call me?" "why'd ya hit me?" Maybe we need to make shits that say "WHat you call me?"
ReplyDeletefb the teenage girls trash talked the next person who walked down the street after you as well. Don't take it personally. Idle teenagers have little else to do than bolster their egos by pointing out needless bullshit to their posse.
ReplyDeleteOh shit were you wearing that yellow pantsuit>?
OH SHIT GIRL GET A REEEEEL OUUUUUTFITTTT!!!
:/
peeds, if i could make a shit that said "what you call me" on demand that would be the answer to everything. anytime i am hassled i will squat down, concentrate, and leave unscathed.
ReplyDeletei get hey snowflake at least twice a day as i am the only whitey (and i'm fucking WHITEY) in my entire neighborhood. i also got "hurry up, sticks" as i was crossing in front of a car full of teenage girlz. that one hurt.
ReplyDeleteugh, hurry up "sticks" is rough. i've been called slim shady. ?
ReplyDeletei made it through all day yesterday - no catcalls.
i am having fantasies today about never coming back to this beige. just being done after today. there is all this new 'accountability' business going around here - which will only benefit me actually but for some reason i am getting even more annoyed. my beige is annoying.
ReplyDeleteHi Snowflake! This is sucky to get called shit, but "snowflake" is kinda cute, and since snowflakes are pretty and all, maybe theres a compement hidden in there, better then cracker.
ReplyDeleteindeed, it's WAY better than cracker.
ReplyDeletetrue. but it's definitely sexist, isn't it? i mean, you wouldn't call a white dude snowflake...
ReplyDeletei HAVE to quit the fucking donut shoppe. i can't take it anymore. they are canning people left and right for no reason, too. i wish they'd fire me so i could get unemployment. i hate being so poor that i have to show up at this hollow shit hole every day.
sorry to gripe.
oh, dubz - that sucks. is there a different donut shoppee that would be better/pay better? there must be. i hate when beiges adopt the fear policy like that. my old beige had that. it was a fucking train wreck.
ReplyDeletealso, please note griping is always allowed on my blog. i am king griper.
i can't believe it's only 1:03. not good.
ReplyDeleteI ate lunch at 11:30 today, i hate when I do that.
ReplyDeletethey served up some meaty gruel in the rikrit installation today, and i griped that it had dead animal flesh in it, which is not in the spirit of the piece. i am in gripe mode. i also announced that i want to quit to my cohorts, which is never a good idea. i am losing it.
ReplyDeletefb, i can't go to another shoppe. i am done with the shoppes. i would rather shovel shit. oh wait, same thing. see? the unrelentless griping?
good news is it's gorgeous outside!
dubz, maybe you can go back to designing indie 500 floor rugs, tote bags and coffee cups again? lately i have been wanting a simple job - one where I work with my hands, where I move around - rather than this coding crap where I sit writing hack code for a webiste from the dark ages learning nothing but how to control my agitation.
ReplyDeleteit is going to be beautiful this weekend dubz. botanical gardens? prospect park?
damn blogfucks. why bother typing my missive when it goes into the ethers? whisperings on the winds of invisibility.
ReplyDeleteF' it. I'm not retyping the whole damn thing.
i'm going completely crazy at beige. can i leave now? UGH.
ReplyDeletei just made a mojito-ingredient run and accidentally sat in the park for a 1/2 hour afterward. oops. i hate it here, this place fucking blows.
ReplyDeletei have just decided i am going to chelsea forest tomorrow. 11am. 2 hours. i am making a list. soon i leave biege...
ReplyDeletedubz, the mojitos sound delicious. i want. maybe you should poison particular ones?
i would if the higher-ups were invited to drink with us. everyone in my immediate vicinity is kool. i don't want to kill them really.
ReplyDeletesometimes i play 9 to 5 and talk about rat poison loudly. no one takes me seriously, but one day the donuts may be laced with somthin funny... a little extra glaze, if you know what i mean...
that donut's your last meal, you dumb fuck is what i'd say.
i just decided i'm going to take two weeks vacation then come back and quit. otherwise they'll cheat me outta my vakay. good idea?
ReplyDeleteVery good idea, dubz! I recommend hanging in there at beige until a big layoff... the unemploymentz, they are like a long-term art stipend. You could start a secret "fire me please" campaign: eat very farty foods, laugh loudly at inappropriate moments, etc.
ReplyDeleteI have season passes to the Botanic Garden if you so desire FB. I was there today and it was like a Claritin commercial. Everything was exploding w/ color.
ReplyDeletefunny sloth - laughing loudly at inappropriate moments is what got my friend fired... now he's happily collecting unemployment and enjoying the weather. i'd love to get canned... i'm trying...
ReplyDeleteif you use bank of america the botanic garden + most nyc museums (even the bronx zoo) are free this month.
ReplyDeleteGood to know dubz!
ReplyDeleteI love this post.
ReplyDeleteB, my old roommate did not fare so well in the JSQ. She was called cracker, honky, white bitch, on numerous occaisions. I guess because no one can tell what ethnicity I am, I don't get the shitz too much.
I guess it sounded weird that I said I love this post. I like the conversation. B always felt weird when she would get singled out in our nabe. In a weird way, it's nice to know that she wasn't alone and that it is/was just another crappy cultural experience.
ReplyDeleteIt sucks that it goes down like that. I don't exactly like that part.
sorry, felt like I had to explains myself.
Sorry Fb, this sounds really hard. It reminds me of the vibe of when I was growing up in Philly in the 70's. Obviously there is no easy answer because of the racial pressures of society, and the gang up on the one girl/lady thing. In that way, it's almost two things going on at once, the loaded racial revenge shit, but then the misogynist lady bash. If you ever see one of these kids alone, you could approach them and say something, not as a hard confrontation so much as a way to remind them of your humanity. Just talking person to person. An appeal almost, as well as a way to show that you are not afraid of them if it's one on one. I don't know what I'm saying. I guess I used to do this when I worked with mean choads who would pick on me, but only when they were in groups. One on one was a totally different story, and that's when I could, I don't know what, get back at them, not be intimidated, defend my dignity--? Anyway, this stuff has a way of making one feel crazy, even just talking about it. It sux that it's on your own damn street.
ReplyDeletenew posts please.
ReplyDeleteI know you are bored at beigeland, snap to it!
hi arthur, hi snowflake. I can't believe I saw you both independently in the same week.
ReplyDeleteps Fb. I am in work avoidance mode right now due to overwhelming amount of tasks. new posts are appreciated.
ReplyDeletenew post! (no pressure)
ReplyDelete