Tuesday, March 28, 2006

You must view:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html

54 comments:

AlsoArthur said...

FB, you moldy spammer! This story is past it's innernet expiration date. Keep up with the times, man!

fairy butler said...

i am so so sadly behind the times. it was news to me... durh dargh.

bb said...

I am making the future Mrs. BB sign a copy of this! Except I'm going to cross out 'high-heels' and put 'skinny-jean-hipster-boots' or whatever trends dictate at the moment...

fairy butler said...

bb, the shoe portion of this contract is the least troubling aspect. i like how he dictates the sleepwear by leaving it under her pillow every night. and the shaving stuff. and the nude photos required. mental mental mental.

fairy butler said...

i am the anti wife. according to this contract.

postmoderndebunker said...

oh my, i am behind the times too. yikes!

bb said...

well, you've got to shave that pubic region, right? I know AA's a stickler about that stuff too...
I signed something like this already for my 'husbandry duties'. I'm already at -461 GBD's.

bb said...

p.s. - not that I was ever going to Iowa before, but now I'm really staying away! That goes for Arkansas too...

Anonymous said...

Is it a joke? Marriage is weird.

sloth said...

disturbatory, FB. very disturbatory.

bb said...

Can I just tell you?

******************

Our "fabulous" swiss moneyed "director" as she calls herself, here at the Northern Ice Kingdom, after returning from a weeks "working" vacation (working meaning 'partying with trashy, rich euro-artists at openings and afterparties in the EU) has decided that NY is passe and and Berlin is "where it's at" now (sorry for all the ""'s.) This is partially b/c her UBER-moneyed bf from Switz. somehow couldn't buy his way into Columbia MFA (It's the only place he applied) so he's staying in the lily white hills of switzerland. So she might be leaving.

**********************************

I could use a hot steaming cup of Anthrax right now.

fairy butler said...

bite her. oh wait, she would probably like that.

Anonymous said...

Your director is what I hate most about the artworld.

bb said...

sorry, am i evil? sometimes i just want to jam flaming skewers into my ears when i have to hear that sh*t. She's not a bad person - just a person that has been taught many bad ways of being.

Anonymous said...

hey i'm out of the loop. which gallery is the domain of the northern ice princess?? (i know there's a lot of people who know the inside scoop here in blogoland but i am not in the inner circle and am curious!)

fairy butler said...

oh, anon, this is not something for the public blog me thinks. sorry!!!

toodnonymous said...

http://www.blogthings.com
/howevilareyouquiz/

mountain man said...

It's weird when anonymous asks a question. I had an anon ask me "how can i do a studio visit with you" and I'm thinking well one really important step will be for you to maybe tell me who you are first?

This contract is disturbing, I am late to the game. I have to get to work now with my wifely duties. I am way too hairy, it seems.

bb said...

sorry to get of the wifely duties topic fb. I've just got the art-world blues as of late.

the thing that bothered me most about the whole story, is that mr. bagsofmoney boyfriend ONLY applied to Columbia and nowhere else. Hunter's not good enough. YALE's not good enough. It's like dude, could you kiss the powers-that-be's ass any more? You don't want to earn a gallery show, you just want one gifted to you? It's disgusting. "An education" isn't enough these days... But how else would someone with ridiculous family money think? Sorry if I'm just ranting to myself here - thanks for the space fb.

Barton Oaks said...

Yes, Burrito, it is infuriating. But fortunately for us this ass will no go to Berlin, right?

mountain man said...

BB are you seething? Can you channel this feeling into a violent act for which you will never get caught? Just curious.

bb said...

I guess I could 'accidently' smash some expensive trinkets, but nah... There's no point in being mad at about being born middle class instead of upper class. Certain things just seem really groan-worthy.


Deep breaths.

fairy butler said...

bb, ugh. it's terrible but not surprising, this line of thinking by the moneybags boyman artist-wannabe. poisoning. i'm glad he didn't get in though.

fairy butler said...

bb, this class thing is one of the many problems with the artbiz.not art world necessarily. i can't even think about it. as you know i am often close to hanging up the paintbrushes and just opting out - moving on to some suburb, corporate, blah world of accumulating goods from jcpenneys and saving up for the carnvial cruise. it does seem much more reasonable. perhaps i can be satisfied with the creature comforts, gardening, book club, etc. one foot in the suburban lifestyle, drive aroudn in a sports car and play cards.?{i know}

pd said...

I am trying to remain oblivious the folks of which you speak, bb. It is hard, but it is the only way I can manage. What a loser that fella is. He couldn't buy his way into Columbia, but maybe he can buy himself a show?
All this talk has got me thinking of chocolate. I ain't got none on me and I want some.

pd said...

FB, if for some reason you pick up and move to the burbs...you gotta take that SUV of yours for a ride at least once a week to see your fan club.

fairy butler said...

no one will like me in burbs. i will need to either:
1. join the mole people - inner earth
2. join outerspace community - preferably sweat pants wearing nudist (on bottom OR top, but not both)
3. win lotto
4. workers comp

bb said...

Well at least we have the swiss for their chocolate!
remember fb, the making of the art doesn't have anything to do with how the art is placed, seen, rationed etc. It's an age old prediciment i guess. Fine Art after all is for rich people but any schmo like me can make it. This stuff just makes me want to make greeting cards like my mother wanted me to do. At least it's something that is appreciated by 'the middle class' and not the rich. Maybe I should move to a farm and paint animals on aluminum signs with bible verses on them. $40 a pop. At least Columbia or Berlin would be off my radar.

bb said...

You could rock the burbs, fb. I will curate your show at the civic center. It will be a yearly event that will coincide with a reunion rock festival. The inaugural rock reunion will be: Toto.

fairy butler said...

i will make sculptures out of the animal dung, and windchimes.

bb, i tried to make greeting cards one time to make money. a long, long time ago. i was horrible at it. i kept coming up with inappropiate, offensive verse. arthur and i would cry with laughter. i had one about the easter bunny and where he keeps his chocolate eggs. but there were way, way worse ones.

fairy butler said...

ha, chuckling out loud. good one bb, yes toto at the civic center. god know i would get way more press there than here.

i just got my monthly candy delivery from the candy depot courtesy of my brother. i am overfull from mexi lunch out and now it is time for runts.

Frogs said...

I would rather buy the card you describe than the cards that are on sale at the drug store. I like chocolate eggs, even knowing where they come from.

fairy butler said...

7 oz of runts. super size.

fairy butler said...

comes with free insulin hypo.

Fink said...

I predict a sugar high. Look out.

fairy butler said...

frogs, thank you. i know. i tried to be an illustrator at one point - even took a night class at SVA. basically, i suck at it. although i do get some work in that vein now and again.

Frogs said...

I wish I could spin with you right now, FB.

fairy butler said...

i am going to puke soon.

pd said...

All I wanna do when I wake up in the morning is see your eyes...down in Africa.

Frogs said...

You can puke on me and I will write notes on the linoleum with my back. I will copy out the epic poem of your choosing in FB puke.

pd said...

I think Toto should be booked at Ned's.

pd said...

You just had to mention chocolate eggs?

Mountain Man said...

Good idea, they will work conceptually with Skinny Puppy.

pd said...

I am feeling hypoglycemic now--send over the runts.

Anonymous said...

Runts are best when washed down with wine from the skin and my oxy stash under the desk.

fairy butler said...

seriously. i am going to hurl a runt raibow. i also got two packages of white baby chick peeps and a sack of peppermints(sucks).

pd said...

Oh, oxy! Those were the days. I had to sell my oxy stash to support my painting habit.

fairy butler said...

i will bring the sack of reda nd white peppermints to neds!! YAY!!!

fairy butler said...

i am throwing out the banana runts. hate them. only eat them when jonesing.

hammy said...

The artworld is a joke. Join me in the revolt against the swiss.

bb said...

I love the banana runts, fb! They are my faves! Really!!

fairy butler said...

bb, i have a whole trash can full of the bananas under my desk.

krixfort said...

fb, if you move to the suburbs I will come visit you in my space ship with my alien 'tard friends.

pyrotood said...

microwave a peep! it is fun to watch it grow and burst into flames!