Tuesday, March 07, 2006

the mole people

clearly it is time for me to join the ranks of the mole people, the cavern dwellers, those with the clear skin and pink eyes. I am descending below the slabs, down into the soil and tunnels, the underside of the bright and shiny. It may be the only safe place left - a place where fabeebles and i can sing to our hearts delight the songs of big poppa, applejack, and sir bang. we will pool our cash and invest it in the future of one special lady mole, the one with the most fragrant armpits and most mushroom-like arse. she will be the provider. sucking her teats we will work on our "creative" raps and our digging, our worm mounds and spacious inner earth condos. the nytimes will never know the extreme QOL we will have. the mole people do not go to the beige. the mole people do not schlup around to lame things, they do not clean up and make foodstuffs. the prick of their fang on the full moon will tell you the rest of the story. don't you want to join?


me likey the dark, i have been mole-ish 3 months.


me like the pricky prick.


(he's been underground a REALLY long time) mole king status.


mole advisor


mole mole mole mole, this is the big fucking city peeps!


mole spawn

47 comments:

sloth said...

FB, my 2 front teeth are lengthening and growing straight out of my head, my eyes are shrinking; I am ready to join you under the slabs.

sloth said...

p.s. speaking of mole people, have you seen the movie "Dark Days?" It's pretty great.

postmoderndebunker said...

I was looking for that person with the one huge hairy mole on their face....

I am thinking of going under the slabs tonight--y'all gonna be there I hope.

krixfort said...

be there or be . . . to be or. I don't know what I was saying. I'll see you down beneath the slabs FB.

AlsoArthur said...

Not even 10am and today already looks like a great fucking day to start my depigmentization.

fairy butler said...

arthur, did you experience the hell of the L train/cattle car of death this morn? i startled the cublings with my statement that I would like to punch people in the face - said as i walked to my pen.

fairy butler said...

oh, yes sloth. I did see Dark Days - they are the underground crack moles - same idea.

schnark days said...

I am an underground oxy mole.

fairy butler said...

i have a lot of anger today. i am turning from mole to white cobra that swims in the sewer.

postmoderndebunker said...

me too. i can feel the permanent scowl on my face.
i am so tired of this beige racket.

fairy butler said...

i had a moment's hesitation leaving the house - foreshadowing of the anger to come from the subway. prescience. i should listen more carefully.

postmoderndebunker said...

i am hoping for some booze soon.

postmoderndebunker said...

i had to transfer off the express and take the local this a.m. 'cause some big guy was on my back thru the whole ride.

AlsoArthur said...

yeah WTF. Could barely get on and we live way the F out on the L. So packed I was thinking, well at least we'll go express to Union Sq.

Wrong.

but if that is the worst thing that happens to me today, I will be really fucking suprised.

fairy butler said...

if i start with the booze now i can sober up by the time i go to the shack later? i think there is some rum punch somewhere in this office.

fairy butler said...

PD, explain the big guy on the back. did he want to fight you?

postmoderndebunker said...

i would kicked his wall-street ass if he wanted to fight. but he was literally on my back--the train was crowded, but there was certainly room for him to move a little off my back.

postmoderndebunker said...

going to the met yesterday at 3, i had to let a 6 train pass because it was completely packed--ugh. i know this is normal ny, but some days it really irks me to no end.

sloth said...

PD.... ICK! he was asking to be kicked in the 'nads.

fairy butler said...

oh, right. i gave up all personal space this morn. just gave into the mosh pit. sent out the hates for selfprotection but it is obviously lingering in the form of angriness.

i think today is a day for the fried nuggets of the china. lunch.

postmoderndebunker said...

oh good idea. some sesame chicken and scotch. tomorrow is a shack day and i am counting the hours....

postmoderndebunker said...

today is cleaning lady day at the beige. i can't stand it. i will hear lectures on the evil of carbohydrates, the importance of letting go of emotional entanglements, and why i should not eat meat or fish.

fairy butler said...

pd, seriously, this cleaning lady stuff. no. NO. Please buy the scotch.

postmoderndebunker said...

I'm going to kick everyone today. Scotch is in my immediate future. And I must leave before the vacuum is out.

sloth said...

I did the Chinese nuggets yesterday and ended up regretting it. But they were low-class mall nuggets. Today I am going out in search of a chef salad with gourm-eggs.

I have that skin-crawly feeling of bad sleeps.

fairy butler said...

"low class mall nuggets" this is a wonderful string of words sloth. I will be ordering today from a place known as the "joy grill"

i can't focus. can't focus. want to bang head.

sloth said...

FB, it could be worse: you could work in the Manhattan Mall. We have a delightful array of Reise® restaurants to choose from here.

I'm going to stab myself with a plastic fork now.

fairy butler said...

Sloth, please pass me the fork when you are done. I am putting on my plastic bib and lavendar sweats. I will stab my full hanging sacks of nuggets, kung pao sauce seeping from the wounds as I slowly drain myself of life on the beige-ecru-moss striped carpet of this stasis chamber.

fairy butler said...

If only I could will myself to vomit.

krixfort said...

the crowds you have experienced on the subway are a direct result of the Bushwick migration spawned by the NYTimes article. If the times says it, they will come.

sympathies.

FB, I am looking for a job for you at my beige. how much flash do you know?

postmoderndebunker said...

i just yelled at my boss.

SERENITY NOW!! i am going in search of nuggets.

fairy butler said...

serenity now. pd. you funny.

krix, i know next to nothing about flash sadly. i could teach myself. ? it seems do-able. basically i can't seem to do anything proactive. it's really weird. can't send out resume or move forward. mercury is in retrograde. this must be it.

fairy butler said...

i have fear of a different job - more involved job and what it would mean for the relics. but for christsakes, the relics are always there waiting and it would be nice to make some cash and do something active with my head. but, instead i muddle around and whine. it's great.

sloth said...

it is like 50 degrees in here. I have just killed one of my co-workers & am huddled in the carcass for warmth.

pd said...

my boss is now trying to kiss up to me after i yelled at him. it saddens me to have been so mean and to have him be so spineless. i am terrible. he is old and nice and i get impatient 'cause he is too nice to some of the meanies we deal with--like icky film people.

FB--I hear you about the job change. it is important to keep enough energy for the relics.

fairy butler said...

pd, he sounds a little flaky. this boss. good intentioned but??? oof. and sloth why so cold? do they have the air conditioning on already at the mall? curl up in the carcass. i am bucking around in my chair. must get out of here.

pd said...

he is just a little old and more than a little wimpy. well-intentioned-YES, which is why i am a terrible person.

I am hitting the oxy and thinking about ducking under the desk to drink some Jack. This will help. It is almost over.

AlsoArthur said...

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck....ok I'll stop. Just had to get that out of my system or I would be on the news, doing the perp walk out of my bloodied building.

fairy butler said...

no arthur. i am sorry. can i help in a way that is legal?

pd said...

Sorry Arthur. I hope you get through it. I will gladly lend you my slicer for any cuts you need to make.

AlsoArthur said...

thanks, but unfortunatley, the only way out of this mess is if I use the slicer on myself. Bleeding myself to death so I can 'move on'.

postmoderndebunker said...

NO ARTHUR! You musn't do that--you musn't. We will all miss you too much.

AlsoArthur said...

heh. A copy/paste of my post to another forum. Thoughts?



You be the judge. Have I reached an all time high, or an all time low?

I'm currently at work, in an edit session. Sitting in front of me, a bottle of Maker's Mark. Bottle was stolen from the office of a co-worker who is leaving, who's going away party I was at earlier in the evening, where I had 2 whiskeys on the rocks. After a full day of work. I got here at 9am and I'm now deep into the second part of my double shift. No dinner, just two bites of an appetiser at the going away party.

Has the line been crossed, or is there in fact, no line?

AlsoArthur said...

Nevermind that last post. Try to decifer this!



Are you guys up to BWL or Nefarion yet?
We are running MC with another guild and this DKP stuff just sucks, trying to break off for a need before greed, but darn these kids are stuck on DKP.

Kids.

The adults are all for NbG.

krixfort said...

Arthur! That is the super geekiest! You rule!

toodles said...

lol Arthur. If you finished the bottle and still got the job done I'd say its an "all time high". As for the 16-sided dice speak...fuck those guys and their D&D gaming communities. I also like the term "perp walk". I steal it now.

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