Saturday, March 11, 2006

back from the forest

six hours folks. that's a lot of relics.... the theme yesterday seemed to be about piles, chandeliers, fancy piles, the ornate. we saw it in several places.

winner of yesterday: paula wilson who has several paintings in the group show at sikkemma jenkins. I LOVE THEM. They feature butts, crazy painting, and stuff stuck on. righteous. Funny that the loser of yesterday was located diretly across the gallery. These are the most terrible things i have ever seen. like someone gave joe schmoe a batch of oil paints and some dry bistley brushes and he made some lines. I cannot understand these except in the fickle nature of fashion - like these are so bad, so out of touch, that they are cool. which angers.

2nd place loser features the rare show. a santa with reindeer with a golf club and putting green. it doesn't work dude.
2nd place winner is Yuh-shioh wong. lovely, breezy, color crazed relics - the ease and grace thing the fb aspires to.

lets see. other highlights:
jennifer and jason mccoy at postmasters
julie heffernan at ppow (surprise relief to see these. not so into the astronauts and modern stuff, but liked otherwise, more than anything i have seen of hers)
tomory dodge at CRG (mm, i think you would like)
lucky debellevue at feature
i liked the hernan bas at reich (but i think it may be my taste only)
angelo filomeno at boesky - embroidery and crystals and birds. there are issues with this show for me. color is one of them. but the sculptures i was digging. worth checking out definitely.
dave miko at wallspace
robert gutierrez at 67gallery
shows at bellwether and derek eller ok.
gosh, there are more but ??

that's enought. hope this helps krix!

185 comments:

sloth said...

FB, were the Paula Wilsons the ones with paper collaged onto them? I thought they initially looked interesting but fell apart at 2nd look... but maybe I'm just a crank.

The paintings across the gallery were by Zach Feuer's wife, so there's your answer.

Thanks for your as-always astute report; I'll check out these shows, especially the Lucky Debellevue, which looks really funny online.

We're heading over to Pulse today, but will be taking a pass on the Armory show this year.

fairy butler said...

make sure you see jen dalton's piece at pulse.

and yes, the paula wilson are those. it's ok to be a crank sloth!!

pd said...

Lucky Debellvue was a highlight for me.
And as for that wife of The Furor...what a horror. As an abstract painter I am personally offended by them.

krixfort said...

oh FB! due dilligence! Thanks for the report. . . helps tons.

Anonymous said...

dave miko's show is just awful. i just dont get how he keeps on getting mentioned. i feel like he is brainwashing people. it's just insubstantial and bad painting.

Corny said...

Fb I so agree about the Alison Fox paintings (Thats her name right?) They just seemed wrong on so many levels. But then my Painting Guru who is an abstract painter LOVED them which totally confuses me.
Thanks for the report.

I love painting said...

I cannot believe the Fox paintings. I love abstraction, but these seem so badly drawn and painted--so forced.

fairy butler said...

they were just so super ugly and unconsidered. the bigger one had a slight trickle of hope. I dunno.

corny, i am so sorry i remained in the shadows on friday. it sounded super fun!

Corny said...

Fb I picture you with giant piles of red hair all pinned up and a double D cup, is this about right?

fairy butler said...

yes! especially about the cup size. I am overflowing in the mammary capacity.

bb said...

word, on A. Fox, fb. horror vaccuii. smak you eye. you are better than the wilsons, fb. I hated the Fox's, but really liked the first abstract ptngs, Connors... what you think? too plain? did you like the tyler vlahovich's behind the Lucky sculptures? I liked them a lot, but maybe too chicken scratchy for you. loved the participant show. refreshing.

fairy butler said...

i can't remember which were the connors... whoops. so i guess not such an impression on me there. Yes, I like the TV's at feature well enough. Not sure on the sculptural stuff so much and the weird corner hanging down low and such. seems a bit unnecessary/pretentious but the paintings were kind of good. yes. I could not look in the direction of the mezzanine though. just saying.

how are your relics bb? coming along?

Mountain Man said...

Hi there. FB, excellent reporting. Must check out your suggestions as am feeling extremely out of it art-wise. The Sikkema group show was confusing to look at for me. So much of it seemed generic, even the Wilsons, I agree with BB that your work is just better. But I did like Matt Connors' work. I thought it had just the right amount of jaunty playfulness. Anyway. I am still probably drunk from the weekend - I am hurting trying to make these sentences. My brain migrated to my dungaree pocket - the right back butt cheek.

Corny was so perceptive about your looks FB, I can't believe it. How could she tell forensically from your written words that you have such giant boobies.

BB I hope you are back to stay. Just saying.

sloth said...

yes, BB, please don't go away again, speaking of horror vacui...

nice to meetcha, BTW.

bb said...

yeah the mez. - eek! but i liked the abstracts... did you like those big ptngs at sikkema, the long sun painting and the crazy red shiny 80's painting? Sikkema represents that guy now... yikes!

my relics are fine, great even, tho slo. i only seem to get huffy around art fair time. oh, and at my job, of course...

postmoderndebunker said...

HI MM!
I agree with you MM about the Sikkema group show. I didn't like much in it.

fairy butler said...

that show at sikkemma cleared things up for me. i don't understand art. or, perhaps, i understand it too well.

I walked away on friday feeling like i am making very fussy, outdated paintings, but hey. i like. so whatever.

fairy butler said...

like gosh, i am trying to make 'good' paintings. yikes.

pd said...

I limit my trips to Chelsea for that reason FB. It is rarely rewarding, unless friends of mine have their work up. I don't mean to sound so crabby, but I think things out there in the galleries are getting less interesting and at times just crappy. Too much slacker art.

sloth said...

OMG fairy, I completely share in this feeling. I wish I could paint like a 14-year-old & still feel good about my work. I am a frump.

fairy butler said...

and believe me. i try. i am lazy. sort of....

i am working on something at beige titled:
"The Male Perineal Sling--A Viable Alternative to the Artificial Urinary Sphincter"

unfortunately there are no pics.

fairy butler said...

good morning fb. welcome back to your pen.

sloth said...

Cool. One of our products is FloMax, which is a drug for the same problem. I had to doctor a picture of like 300 men to make them all look bummed out about their urinary problems. It felt somehow empowering to make so many men so unhappy... not that I am a misandrist or anything.

bb said...

Thanks MM and Sloth. I needed some blog love.
I worked at Sikkema (briefly) and they are all about 'positioning'. They really work the angles, so don't feel bad if you sometimes don't get what they're doing or feel like it's bad. They're just moving along over there, patting backs and having backs patted. But you know good stuff goes through there like everywhere else.

pd said...

I am reading a hilarious query from a guy in prison and Vanity Fair simultaneously. I must post the prison letter. Speaking of crimes...there is a photo of Elliot Puckette and her snobbish hubby in VF and it is oh so annoying.

fairy butler said...

how weird sloth! ? whoa. i hope you got to doctor some really fucked up prostates. not.

bb, it sometimes feels so hopeless. i can't think about it right now.

bb said...

An appearance in Vanity Fair is like the death knell of an artist's career. It's like they give you a boost to help you jump the shark...

fairy butler said...

pd, i am awaiting your post. the mini me post is so perfect i can't comment there. the clever factor is too high. i am not in the zone yet.

Mountain Man said...

PD, post the query letter, willya?

krixfort said...

zut alors! le FB, there is a show off speaking french behind me in the half cube. I do not think it is necessary. (registering first low level irritant concerning new beige.)

fairy butler said...

speaking french to themselves? on the phone? ordering the cuisine de la french on the phone? this does not bode well. not all all krix. the real question is, does this person wear a beret or a scarf? that way we could determine if the person really is french.

Drndl said...

I speak French, perhaps you may give them my number, Krixfort, you may know my French from the crumbled baguette in my moustache, the greasy brie on my breath.

bb said...

I'm a big francophile. 70% of the Whitney Biennial is French, right? And they've got all those moody rioters there now... it's fabulous!

postmoderndebunker said...

I have posted the letter for the novel: SHE MADE A DECISION TO VISIT ME IN PRISON, CRIMES OF LESBIANS, on my blog.

bb said...

i'm feeling blah today fb. what to do? i guess it's the art hoopla. i shouldn't let it bother me, but it's hard. the participant opening gave fresh hope tho, possibly b/c it was positioned against all that art career crap. it felt full of posibilities, honest fun, and was just a party. It makes me want to throw up some shows of my own. but I don't want to sell stuff. Art's fun, but $money$ really does wreck it sometimes...

Mountain Man said...

BB the art fair is murderous for the artists - it is ego-punishment piled on top of already fragile sense of self. I agree that we need more fun, more communal effort type things. It just feels better to have hoe-downs without worrying about cash dollars and coolness factors.

postmoderndebunker said...

Yes to the hoe-downs. Dork dancing is an art form, as we all know.

bb said...

yeah, it's all good fun until your lesbian lover's lesbian lover tries to murder you...

krixfort said...

she was speaking french to another french person but she is from LA. Prolly a french lesbian murderator. I must be watchful of this one.

postmoderndebunker said...

French Lesbian Murderators are very chic now.

toodles said...

Unrelated, but check the many pages of photoshop'd Thomas Kinkade's:

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1918&p=10
"Painter of Light"
hehe.

fairy butler said...

oh my god toodles. i just snorted VERY loudly at my desk. i love the lighthouses. love it.

sloth said...

OMG I am dying... yes FB, the lighthouses...

I heard The Painter of Light is a real hell-raiser, pissing on Winnie-the-Pooh statue, heckling Sigfried and Roy by shouting out "Codpiece!" at their show... sounds like kind of a fun guy.

toodles said...

I can't decide if my fave is the fisherman snagging on Ophelia on page 8, or the KKK warming themselves on page 9.

postmoderndebunker said...

Oh my god! I love the toilet paper roll.

postmoderndebunker said...

The Wallwhacker is spectacular!

bb said...

I flat out refuse to work today. Does anyone know which of those lottery tickets I should start buying? There seem to be a lot of different ones... The old italian ladies who smoke Kool's seem to know the difference. Then again, they obviously haven't won the big money yet.

pd said...

Yes, bb if they had won the big money they'd be smoking Marlboro.

bb said...

when I win, I'm only going to smoke those big filipino cigarettes with the plastic filter...
and I'll keep buying lotto tickets. Like 50 a day.

Frogs said...

I will only smoke cigarellos when I am large.

Ricky said...

It's CUbans for me.

ricky said...

I mean Cuban cigars...of course.

lucy said...

Oh no you don't Ricky!

fairy butler said...

bb, mega millions. that's the ticket. i am losing hope in them though. i never get more than one number at a time = poop in the pants.

pd said...

I keep thinking someday I am going to find a winning ticket in my pocket, next to a chicken finger, even though I did not play.

Ricky said...

Lucy, lemme 'splain.

krixfort said...

uhhhh. when I go back to my grandma's house in Seattle I am subjected to the painter of light in the form of lithographs and even pillows. yes pillows. he has his own gallery in Carmel. That should tell you a little bit about Carmel. *shudder*. Wealthy republican landowners who buy crap.

hammy said...

I have an elaborate fantasy sequence about winning the lottery. mostly it involves leaving work without saying goodbye and none of my friends ever having to work again. lots of alcohol.

krixfort said...

they are still at it with the french. I think it may be a friend from out of town because she was telling her where to go. I had just enough french that I could follow the american accent laden fracais.

francofreak.

krixfort said...

Hams. . .I often declare some days as "Official Lottery Fantasizing Day."

bb said...

When I hit the lotto jackpot, I'm only going to drink Campari and Kir and drinks of that nature, starting around noon each day.
And I'm going to hire 2 frenchmen to stand there while I throw office supplies at their heads.

hammy said...

today is the day, though I got tough on myself and didn't have any wine before work. Krix. I will personally pick you up from work. When you see me there, just pick up your bag and follow me.

hammy said...

Maybe I should trash the copy room before leaving?

pd said...

Okay, if I win, I will provide lifetime supplies of Oxy and Jack to all of you, along with thinly sliced meats.

Krix, Hams, I am sending the limo around.

Frogs said...

Can the limo allow detachable wheelchairs in the back-end? The traveling is better for me if I am crippled in 2 ways - anesthetic ding dong plus no legs.

poodles said...

A wheelchair accessible castle in switzerland

Frogs said...

No, I have heard of this castle - ramps up and down, right? Made of crystal collages?

poodles said...

the limo could be rigged to have wheelchair streetskiing. Just hold onto the ropes for carefree ride.

Frogs said...

This air is so fresh that I am breathing, I can become more and less vibrating in the cushion area, depending on what you want me to do.

poodles said...

Yes. There will be private residences for all as well as common rooms with crystal wheel chairs

Frogs said...

Let me get it straight - the wheelchair is on skiis?

cool vibrations said...

So long as the vibration is right the cripple is cool.

Frogs said...

I am lumbering around with a giant key filled with hundreds of keys. Who needs a key? A key to get out? I have keys a la custodial staff.

poodles said...

yes and no. The wheelchair rests on a special apparatus which glides smoothly or with more vibration as indicated on the limo dial.

Christopher Reeve said...

I am gazing at a fountain of wine in heaven. Please stop making fun of cripples.

key locker said...

They say that the more keys you have the less power. Unless you hold the keys to the kingdom. Is your key glowing frogs?

poodles said...

I swear to you. A man in a wheelchair just rode by me. I feel like a bad dog

comments have been disabled on my blog said...

Can we please go to the Hello Kitty Crystal Castle? We can take the unicorn (with our wheelchairs).

Of course I will rig the wheelchairs and limo Frogs.

Frogs said...

Glowing keys are the wrong kind, I do know that. Janitors are fine, but it is not for me with the keys.

bejesus juice said...

Christopher, drink up, you really deserve it.

turds o' mine said...

I'm there. I just need my shoelaces to be tied together. Please help

postmoderndebunker said...

The limo is set for a total of six cripples and three beigers. Of course we can have some overlapping crippled beigers if their injuries were sustained while beiging.

postmoderndebunker said...

Extra wheel room for beigers from Bejing.

Frogs said...

Basketball, don't forget it, to have the charity event for prison mates.

postmoderndebunker said...

Turds, you almost got me fired with that comment--I laughed so hard.

hammy said...

Thanks PD and godspeed. My pill stash is dwindling.

postmoderndebunker said...

I have enlisted Patrick Ewing to help us with the benefit. His knees are so bad, he's been seen popping wheelies in his wheelchair too.

bb said...

when my number comes up, I'm going to purchase a stretch wheelchair that seats 7 comfortably. We'll navigate the swiss slopes on skis made of frenchmen and we'll skate the frozen lakes on skates made from dissafected germans...

Tompkins Square Park Association said...

PD, you can't be so generous with my junk--ya dig? The Jack is fine--that's yo biziness, but the Oxy supply ain't so easy to stock up on.

Anonymous said...

no pony skins, only europeans!

fairy butler said...

what about the tards?

fairy butler said...

are they allowed in the wheelchairs too? or will this create too much confusion?

chip said...

Don't worry, I'm crippled. I have an in at the hospital.

Frogs said...

The tards make up the seats, their faces are ample and squishy on the derriere. Even though we are crippled our butts still work and are intact so there will be a bedpan under the tards' face where we can lose 40 pounds the hard way after meals.

fairy butler said...

i am looking for maximum disability.

cords and sutures said...

tell me about the tards. Please define.

postmoderndebunker said...

If the tards are from Hammy's office--NO! All other tards are allowed with proper I.D.

Frogs said...

When I say the hard way, I mean with apples.

fairy butler said...

tards like to play with poo and genitalia. it is true. they are good for something.

postmoderndebunker said...

Frogs, good use of the tards! I need to lose a few pounds.

Frogs said...

Positive ID PD, get the ID's ready for your inspection. You are the checkpoint.

fairy butler said...

the apple blossom cheeks spread out to form nice cushions of pleasure.

postmoderndebunker said...

Okay, I just had to pick up the phone while laughing.

Frogs said...

There is a national failure here that the wheelchair points out.

poodles said...

They shave off butt fat with special suctions. The tards need the lard to survive. The limo is a blessing for all.

Frogs said...

BB are the apples of desire like the Europeans - are they chilly - can you tell us?

fairy butler said...

and we can't forget the dutch.

Corky said...

I do likey poo.

Frogs said...

The Dutch are at work on a new sidewinder to push the limo-guided wheelchairs off the road. To stop them we must push back. How?

crippled blind dutch tard said...

GA GA GA

hammy said...

thanks PD, I couldn't even sit on them. My ass would curdle!

fairy butler said...

this one here (pointing to pink wheelchair) is called the nibble seat.

Frogs said...

The crippling blindness of the Dutch, I respectfully submit is the suture on the wound of the willing.

Frogs said...

If you are willing to nibble at your own seat, curdle or no, you are coming closer to the hospital drama in heaven. I think so.

hammy said...

we throw money at the dutch!

Hippie said...

I used to volunteer for God's Lard We Deliver. We made lard-laden meal for peopple like you, Corky.

Frogs said...

I submit to stop throwing money at the Dutch for their research projects. Throw money into the pool for the basketball tourney.

Anonymous said...

The dutch can't understand our currency.

fairy butler said...

lard leftover from frying the dutch letters, right hippie?

Frogs said...

The lard is greasy like man tissues, I smear it around to make the wheels move fast. Please deliver the lard to my soul.

fairy butler said...

there is an actual movie about the wheelchair basketball that arthur made me watch. murderball.

Frogs said...

Is it a positive film with a good ending?

poodle postures said...

Yes frogs, you are right. The lard lubricant can feed the soul hungry starving for tournaments of heaven. It is evil vs lard loving limo lust.

Bucket said...

I am lost. Who needs me?

fairy butler said...

when the film ends the players are still in their chairs without much use for the limbs.

Frogs said...

Why are you called posture? What happened to the plural Poodle?

fairy butler said...

the boner issue is addressed

poodles said...

I have excellent posture due to my paralysis.

Tard said...

I helped chew off their limbs.I have a project in my house of limb sculpture that self-cleans and cleans my house at one time.

Hungry Hippie said...

Yes, FB, we use Dutch Lard in the frying.

Anonymous said...

like a swiffer? swifter?

Anonymous said...

i am so sleepy now, that was intense.

Anonymous said...

how is the boner issue addressed? Just curious?

Frogs said...

Are the boners still intact on them or are they just torsos playing basketball?

fairy butler said...

we get to be privy to the basketball players' sex lives. it is explained, discussed, and what not. it was the most interesting part of the movie. sort of.

fairy butler said...

most of the quads still have the boners. you see.

Frogs said...

Well I need to ask for more specifics. As in, do they have oral sex from their wives or fellow team mates? I know there would be no thrusting but the nozzle is it still on the can?

lottolerius. said...

relieved. I thought I wasn't going to be able to put the crystal castle to full use.

Frogs said...

Watch out for spraying from the nozzle on the onramps.

fairy butler said...

let's chalk it up to creative positioning. can you image lifting your limbless lover out of his chair? sigh. but you are correct about the oral. this is preferred method i gather.

Anonymous said...

Onramps to the castle?

fairy butler said...

i feel dirty.

Frogs said...

Do the suckers remove their teeth before sucking? This is also preferred but not everyone has dentures for this purpose and this purpose only. I have read about it in Science.

postmoderndebunker said...

So their ding dongs are still functioning.

Christopher Reeve said...

It is shameful this lunatic talk about cripples. We have more mental sex, especially when we get to heaven.

Christopher Reeve said...

My ding dong stopped working before the accident. Blame the red crotch-enhancer.

fairy butler said...

the crotch goblins again?

dutch hippie tard said...

why you make fun so much. peace blout.

poodles said...

It all starts to rust when heaven is mentioned. It is the crust of the fluff. The marshmallo in the clouds is actually the insulation fiber. That's how you know to stop dreaming of a new earth.

stolen moments said...

I am afraid to blog.

dutch hippie tard said...

I meant peace out.

tard said...

I bought the crotch enhancer at the church thrift store. It mellowed me out..... but I still need to suction.

Christopher Reeve said...

The crotch enhancer was my superman outfit. Sadly I am not superman, I cannot walk.

Frogs said...

Who is more mellow, then?

chessy said...

Don't be afraid, stolen. You can join the relay race.

Frogs said...

If I mention that there is morning dew on my rabbit's foot will anyone know what I mean?

Anonymous said...

who is being compared? The tards, the lards, or the physically challenged?

I am disabled said...

is tha a euphemism, Frogs?

Jonathan Richman said...

Que es mas mellow?

poodles said...

I had a little girl tell me about hers once and it made an impression on me. I was surprised by her nascent awakening and her mother's solution. My dew has dried from church teachings.

bb said...

Ugh. I just had to work for over 40 minutes straight. Preposterous! Let's hope that doesn't happen again...
When I win the NY State Lotto, I will hire nouveau riche to hastily unwrap shiny collectibles for me while I say, 'Hmmm, that one's not quite as as advanced as the blue one...'

Frogs said...

It's the game show of euphemisms vs. mellowness. I am a tard, a cripple, a gummy sucker. If you have no arm, I will search for something else. Who is more mellow?

chessy said...

gummy suckers. I am crippled and it makes me angry sometimes.

postmoderndebunker said...

I must wait to decide who is more mellow. It depends on the feeling I get while sitting in the limo.

postmoderndebunker said...

I am eating Gummy Gimps right now.

Chaz said...

PD what flavor of gimp is best? I like the wormsign flavor, it tastes beastly like dirt.

pd said...

Wormsign is good, but I am inky Lardlizard too.

pd said...

If comments have been disabled from my blog while at work, can I file a disabilty claim?

Anonymous said...

Yes you should be able to. Call someone.

pd said...

I can't believe it is almost 4:30! Blogging has made the day go so fast.

toodles said...

Not Safe For Work Image.

http://www.chocolatefantasies.com/
letsFuckLolly.jpg

Am I being too forward?

toodles said...

Ok, now that I have looked closely at the gummi-dongs, I feel the lolly is not too forward.

bb said...

why am I not stoned yet?

fairy butler said...

please hit me with a boulder, many boulders. tomorrow i have to begin training a new person. again. why me? let us all pray that this person is not stupid, or stoned.

fairy butler said...

i must get out my bags of patience and encouraging words.

fairy butler said...

if i have to explain how to use photoshop i will lose it.

toodles said...

Foto Shoppe is my favorite video game.

pd said...

My thanks to ether friends for helping me survive this day.

Frogs said...

FB, you asked for them and the boulders will now come, perhaps when they come you won't be as happy as you thought you might have been when you asked for the boulders. Because here's why: the boulders will hurt.

Anyway, I am sorry about your day in the morning and hope you can mis-teach and make yourself snicker in your knickers.

Frogs said...

Bags of patience are for sale, btw, next door to me so I can get you some and possibly deliver them via messenger before you arrive at your duty.

AlsoArthur said...

FB, if you have to explain how to use photoshop, just don't.

"Ok, that ends your training."

Then walk over to your 'boss' and tell them to hire someone who knows at least a semblance of what is needed BEFORE they get trained.

Then kick your boss in the gunt.

AlsoArthur said...

and speaking of gunts.

Giant steaming fur-tinged fudge puddles of fucktarditude. That is my day.

sloth said...

oh arthur, I'll see your fuckitude and raise you a dumper of crapulence...

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