Monday, September 12, 2005

stop me.

stop me from telling people strange things like "hi, i'm fairy butler and i'm mentally ill." i need to stop that. i need to stop getting carried away with my pet greviances and cornering people at parties (where i go on and on about my political/sociological viewpoints - i'm out of control). all in all i have been guilty of some fouling behavior. i am surprised i have friends. need to practice calm, normal demeanor even if it is fake. i am constantly spazzing on the inside however. the social graces have crumbled away leaving a jaggedy mess.

24 comments:

fairy butler said...

i think this is what happens to geriatrics. it is too early for this in my case.

fairy butler said...

need new strategy for art openings. the one pre-cocktail was perhaps just a little too loosening. maybe I can wear a straight jacket under my clothes, real tight. it will be a struggle to breathe but at least i will be quiet. plus it will keep in the hanging bellies, weapons, toadstools, and assorted paraphenalias.

pd said...

I don't know....I don't like when people perpetrate the fakes on me. I likey the honesty hands down.

As for openings....I have reached the point where I can only go to those of friends. I can't stand the eye-darting syndrome during conversation.

UGH! Beige is awful, awful today.

hammy said...

FB! I know I am not alone in thinking you are very funny and a good talker. Don't worry about the fouling. We are all foulers after all. Plus, I'm with PD in the wishing for the real at openings. I need many drinks beforehand, because crowds make me anxious.

Mountain Man said...

Hi sweet poopers!!!!! The tireds are here after a long experience in the shacks of sugary kid-moments. I am too dead in the head to speak now. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I will say hi for real. I love and miss you, my dearest gummers. My head is folding into crust. I can't believe this day.

Fan of Adult Contemporary Music said...

I require help with my pelvic unit (don't get the wrong idea - it's an adhesive pack). Call me if you know what I am talking about.

krixfort said...

although I don't tend to go through the pain of openings, I do know about the eye dart conversational syndrome and the uncomfortable shifting of the feet. I encounter it whenever I open my mouth about stuff I care about. I've decided that it is now to become my special torture device. . .if I see the people squirming I will just pour on more socio-political discussion or techno-speak. WHy should I spare them? I am tired.

mountain man said...

Krix, I can give you a donut a day to be the boss of me. Please?????? I am sure you can pay your rent with donut glaze and we will have so much fun.

Openings are hard. I always want to say weird non sequitur type things. Lately I am starting to do so more. With little care for the reaction. Like "you want to make out with me, don't you." If they seem to have dartabout eyes and not look at me, I excuse myself as fast as I can, hopefully before they do, and either stand in silence, go to the bathroom, or find someone who will let me play. If there is no one who will let me play then I like to make a quick exit. Openings can be dreadful.

Sammy No Hands said...

Hello to you all with a cut of the stump. I wish you could see my ideas in space.

krixfort said...

I like your approach MM. It gets awful tiring to just stick to the prescription niceties. Non-sequiter is most fun.

krixfort said...

today, somebody thought it was a good idea to set up a product demo right outside my holding pen. They are demoing a whirlpool. It is loud and all of sales and marketing have clamored around to look at it and talk talk talk.

It is exacerbating my A.D.D.

Maybe at the next opening you all attend, you should take a whirlpool. Just say it is an installation. ooops, got to run, hooker needs help.

fairy butler said...

krix, that whirlpool thing is hell. i detest that kind of chump-flock gathering around anything near my pen. can you smell the bleach?

i have returned from a journey into the world of cheap fall clothes. in the process i discovered that something is terrible wrong with my head pelt. BAD. something also amiss with the fit of the slacks but i purchased anyway. desperation. wearing a strange combo today. trying too hard.

fairy butler said...

i am a sad and forlorn creature.

pd said...

Hello fellow beigers!
What a day here. Dealing with an aging boss right now. Sweet but senile. Uggers!
I am feeling sluggish too--grrrr. What else can I complain about? Hmmm, oh yeah...the disgusting guy clipping his nails on the subway!

pd said...

I just poured half a bottle of water over my head as my co-worker watched in horror.

fairy butler said...

pd, are you teaching someone a lesson or trying out the wet look?

pd said...

i just said i couldn't take it and decided to pour. She got a laugh and then tried it herself. We are both going nutz with a z today.

fairy butler said...

that's good stuffs pd. i would pour too in your honor but no one can see me.

PD said...

We are also tempted to take out the Coronas that are stashed in the fridge. We deserve them!

hammy said...

Take them out PD. I just snipped a little chunk of my hair off. Slap happy with the scissors at work. A corona sounds very nice!

fairy butler said...

do it. but reserve them for drinking only - no beer shower. that would be a waste!

pd said...

Delicious....even without the lime.
No beer showers--too smelly.

martin said...

have you ever gotten extremely drunk at one of your openings and been put in a chokehold, perhaps for something you said, and started crying and taking down your work as if to leave with it? i have. be careful, mountain man.

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