Thursday, August 04, 2005

escapist fever

Since returning from the country funtimes this weekend I have been consumed by an escapist fever that is finally lessening today - sort of. I have been desperate to run from this reality any way I can, therefore psychotropic drugs have been on the mind and this is somewhat unusual. Arthur & I attended a concert on Tuesday which accentuated this desire for chemical escape. The Olivia Tremor Control is psych-pop, groovy, loud, good. The show had some excellent moments and it made me want to dig out Dusk at Cubist Castle and take it for a spin. (I was much too sober at this concert. I have been controlling myself. Thankfully I don't have acid or its friends just lying around the house - and I have places to be in the morning.) I think the pace of a few lazy days in the country has contributed to my wildness. maybe I just need to get this urge out of my system by giving in? we shall see. Altered realities can be good and necessary at times and I go through these phases now and again. I don't know.

But it got me thinking about escapism and how this urge rules my existence. My favorite activities are examples of this tendency:

working in studio
looking at good art
reading fiction
yoga (arguable)
hidey holes
listening to musix
concerts

okay, so maybe that list isn't too weird, maybe this is typical. I don't know. But this escapist thing even happens here at beige. I get involved in god knows what at my desk, actual work, blogs, stuff and I forget where I am. This is how i prefer it. I'm feeling that this post is going to get corny - cornier - if I continue this line of thought. However, I am still wanting to smoke the bongs today at the beige. Does anyone relate to this? Have spells of wanting to go back to college or just drop out and turn on for a few days? Must reset mind.

24 comments:

fairy butler said...

i think i like the idea of dropping out and hiding in the country with a sack of mushrooms better than actually doing this. Hard telling. My experiences are not many.

Jo said...

Your re-entry mania is totally normal--at least that's what I'm realizing after my re-entry melt-down on Monday. My only friend at work--I'm 'friendly' with people, but this was a guy I could really bitch to--left for grad school last Friday. On Monday his dark office was a metaphor for my state of mind. And his name tag, still on the wall, just underscores his absence--and my presence! At 4pm, after holding back all day, I had to hole-up in the ladies room and let it out. Vacation's over, back in Mediocrity, no work-husband. Escaping is the only salvation in a workplace full of distraction, memos, meetings, boredom, wishful thinking, the alarming feeling that intelligence and identity are getting sucked down the same sink-hole, inch by inch. I can't believe I'm doing this--I can' t believe thousands and thousands of people do this all their lives. And what's up with the terror of leaving? I have this, too.

krixfort said...

FB, I used to run away a lot. This is another form of escape. I did not ever have an apartment for longer than five months. (Impossible to do here.) Now I run away to the blog.

There are so many more interesting things we could all be doing with our days if we were not required to tend to the crappy details of living. Dreaming, thinking, sleeping are a few of my faves. A mushroom bender of epic proportions would be a considerable endeavor. (I think you're right though, the concept surpasses the gritty, shaky, nausea producing reality.)

I think I will pull an Office Space.

fairy butler said...

Yes jo, it is terrible when the good ones leave the beige world and you are left behind. It would be in a whole different world of pain without a certain set of people I work with who make my days here ok. People have been leaving one by one for the last year and it always makes me panicky.

fairy butler said...

Has anyone seen the documentary "The Corporation?" It sounds DIRE but perhaps will give explanation of satanic plot in USA to turn the creative humans into drones.

fairy butler said...

Sometimes I am jealous of the homeless people I see on my way to work. That is sad.

hammy said...

i did see that movie and feel horrid pangs for working to support evil empires. "Sir, it's Mr Smith from Haliberton." i have to cut my head off every time I come to work and think of health insurance.

hammy said...

health insurance, shelter, food.
I like your list, FB.
Mine is very similar. I would like full days in studio more than anything.

fairy butler said...

hp,

i have been dreaming of an epic embroidery, epic. rainbow alert. full days inside the epic. i hear you.

fairy butler said...

HP,

i have been listening to this record by the Hold Steady and am going to see them on Friday night (with mm & uncle fritz, there are still tix I think if you wanna go). anyway, the whole deal with this band is down and out stories of homeless, druggy scene in minneapolis. but the songs are interesting(lyrically) because it parallels looking for the savior and being born-again with getting high and being an addict. there's lots of redemptive talk and sort of how the two "extremes" are one and the same. I dunno. I thought you might be interested in this train of thought. The music is straight up rock and roll, classic rock. at first the band annoyed but I'm kind of into it.

ham paw said...

hi FB, I would love to see this epic embroidery. it sounds beautiful and wishes to be made.

I think I would like this band too. Damian and I are off to an escapist camping fantasy trip so I will have to listen to recording. I heard an interview with an ex addict talking about his tribe as deeply spiritual people in the sense that they are after the ecstatic spiritual. and religion very addictive too. I got preached at on the bus today. When she was done she insisted that everyone say amen with her.

hammy said...

Amen to escape and studio

hammy said...

and epic artworks

jo said...

oh I'm behind in this thread, excuse me. A former roommate of mine made The Corporation so I had a more surreal experience of the film than most... I could see her neurosis all through it... the bleakness... and anyway i think the despoiling (a word?) of otherwise intersting lives by making them mediocre is very subtle--as yet undocumented, but requires it, no? maye we're idealists but the pain is real.

jo said...

art is the upside

PD said...

FB, I would love to see Black Mountain. I have been in a little coma, so I'll wait until the morning to buy the ticket (if there are some left).
I am with you on the escape. I want it now, not next year or five years from now...but NOW damnagit. I want to do pretty much everything on your list, but I would exchange Yoga for Pirates (sorry)and I would include many, many trips to Italy and some hours for playing crazy computer games.

mountain man said...

Fairy this list means you are a productive and creative lovely being who wants joy and sparkles. You are allowed to hate and want escape, you deserve escape. Escape is the only thing that makes the world bearable. I am very looking forward to escape in the form of musix tomorrow night.

I want you to start the epic embroidered relic! This is an imperative and your little creatures would frolic so nicely in an open expanse. Room to breathe and dream about hidey holes. Many hidey holes for the sensitive ones.

krixfort said...

I think you are all inspirational. You all have helped me to look at things differently and make me think about the good stuffs like art and music and creativity. ANd goblins and pirates and fairy butlers and stuffs. Sometimes you guys are my escapes.

Just wanted to say thanks!

mountain man said...

Krix, you are the most fun play-pal. We are lucky to have found you in the ether!

pd said...

We love you Krix! You are fun, fun, fun.

krixfort said...

FB, how was Black Mountain?

fairy butler said...

they cancelled! can you believe it? and arthur had some kind of illness/diaper issue so we had to leave the hold steady early! Night was 50% ruined.

krixfort said...

That is very crusty, considering it was a sold out show.

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