Monday, July 11, 2005

Beige art Brainstorm

A roundtable discussion was had here at the beige over lunch. Some art ideas.

1. We will turn our aisle into a crystal palace. Beautiful mutli-colored string will be strung from cube to cube where we will attempt to grow the crystals out of beakers of soda water. These will be used for adornment purposes. We will cut out hexagonal shapes of different colors of plexiglass and glue them back together to create a psychedelic tapestry that will cover the various cubes. Mexican blankets will cover the floors, also needed: rain stick, skulls, keyboard instruments, batons, nets, and large moths that speak english.

2. In the lunch room there is a forbidden closet - apparently an electrical command center. Out of its innards a forbidding whistling sound eminates. We could hear the voices saying "save me," and "please, I beg of you" and a deep, menacing chuckle. Inside we are imagining one of two installation projects. The first is a marzipan depiction of the rapture and the path to the bowels of hell. A goat man will cavort about the room, scratching and squatting. (This could be sculpture or performance if mountain man is willing.) There will be a broken sundial near the back of the room, also a small stonehenge-ish scene - all marzipan. Used starbucks coffee cups, hypodermic needles, and dirty diapers will litter the foreground. Option #2: a yeti installation similar to the ones at the PS1 show. First and foremost we will require below freezing temperature. A yeti, covered with cystalline snow which could be gathered from our crystal farm in the wizards row. The yeti must be kept hungry for souls and angry. This will be accomplished by relentless audio assault in the form of Bad Company's greatest hits. The yeti will bang and cry and try to get out but there will be an invisible fence.

3. The garbage desk on the outskirts of beige civilization. This holds promise for partially hidden rat sculptures or a homeless encampment. Or another wizard's lair could be fashioned out of the piles of cardboard. I would be willing to work on this during my free time.

4. Sound piece. This could fall into the prank category so we must be careful. This device can be hidden and only activated by motion. It will alternately wail, softly, or say things like "people are nice," "i feel indiffernt to you," etc. We are trying to determine the correct placement for said device.

I am feeling much better now.

24 comments:

rube said...

I love. But how short lived.

Transcript of what is running through my head: Beigey beige beige beige beige beige, crystal palace, beige beige geibe beibe geige beige beige beige. Beige.

I am not indifferent to you.

fairy butler said...

you can't let the dream die so easily rube! I am constructing the cardboard crystals under my desk, alternating it with feedings from my space bag, of course.

fairy butler said...

i am thinking a speed lab should be thrown in here somewhere.

pd said...

A speed lab would be in keeping with the Bad Company music theme.

Bad Company, til the day I die!

I think you can market this idea and possibly turn it into one of those reality / home improvement shows.

sloth said...

excellent idea, PD! it could be an "I-pimp-out-your-beige-you-pimp-out-mine" kind of set-up.

fairy butler said...

this really is the only kind of work I am suited for...harvesting crystals and yetis and such. As I walk around the beige today my eyes are dancing with ideas for pimping.

nardlet said...

I am lining my entire cube with Stay-Free panty liners right now.

fairy butler said...

yes, nardlet, this is good and proper. a lady can never be too careful. now you can feast on the prey before the bleeding is finished.

shucks said...

I am pulling my forearm off right now to spray the fluids. I am after a jackson pollock-type decor - murder is theme.

fairy butler said...

note. the regina spektor album is very very annoying. i think I hate it. is that ok?

pd said...

I have stayed away from the Spektor for fear of annoyance.

Yo--is fabeebles hosting the beige pimp show?

fairy butler said...

Fabeebles could host the more homeless-themed shows I think. Pimp my cube. ha. I want to drape the cat blanket over my cube and place some greek "marble" sculptures outside of a gravel footpath on the approach. So many fun themes!

pd said...

Yes, that would be like "My Big Fat Greek Beige Cube"

fairy butler said...

yes! parthenon themed ornaments, but no dumb actresses.

krixfort said...

I once had a tiki hut cube complete with torch. I also had a plastic skull mounted on a plaque near the cube entrance. The skull had a motion detector in it and when you walked past, it would sing Soul Man. I found the skull at the swap meet. I miss that cube, FB.

fairy butler said...

yes, this sounds like a good cube Krix. An annoying singing skull is perfect. oh christ! stupid Ludacris is on the ipod again. Go Away Ludacris. you suck.

krixfort said...

yes FB, annoying things are good until you forget they are there. I forgot about the skull once. It startled me so badly I did a tuck and roll into my seat.

Arthur said...

On that note krix...
there are some startling, lifesized cutout men (from a marketing campaign)that lurk around the corner on the way to the bathroom. If you have forgotten about them, and walk around the corner in a rush, you become startled and then annoyed by them. These 'men' are dour because Lifetime has taken away their women on monday nights with 'new movies'. I often imagine dressing them up so they don't seem so dour. Any ideas?

fairy butler said...

doo rags, saggy underpants.

ham paw said...

a large shovel and a blow horn sit near my desk.

pd said...

How but a nifty number from Bea Arthur's wardrobe on The Golden Girls? She was such a fashion-not-sa.

fairy butler said...

HP, why the shovel? are they making you bury the dead bodies?

krixfort said...

I like the baggy pants idea for the mens. Turn them into Big Pants People.

Yes HP, why the shovel? Is it for the killing?

Anonymous said...

This is very interesting site... here