I am doing this today. Why do the chumps flock to such an abomination? Who will be the first to put one on? The chump king or queen will soon be discovered.
The oatmeal elaborator was in the kitchen just now, buttering up a bagel taking up several feet of counter space. White tennis shoes and black tight pants were involved.
OMG, there is a chump flock gathering for the t-shirts.
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The company sounds very Stepford, very Tom Cruise, not at all Phantastic. We recommend breaching security and publicly displaying all company secrets while plotting your retreat to more mossy grounds. Few mythical beasts stay in cubicles, except of course the Minotaur.
Fairy B, we must spirit you away from that awfulness.
Meanwhile, in an office park in central jersey, someone's cell phone ring tone plays a Beyonce song over and over. . .
yes, the snorter opposite me has a similar cell phone which plays the hot97 hits. she is gone today. Soon the beige world is relocating. I will have a larger pen to accomodate my ever-increasing ass size, and will be put with the good others. The weirdos will move away from me. There is rumor of a waterfall and a sunken pit.
i am not joking about the pit. It contains bleacher seats, stadium seats for what they call the "all hands meeting." This is a special form of torture where my eyes roll backwards in my skull but I have to maintain a look of alertness when actually I have no idea about anything involving the jailers I "work" for.
Our jail is moving next weekend to a bigger more deluxe holding pen. I will soon have my own cube which I am looking forward to in a strange masochistic way. I will no longer have to listen to the loud FNG yell at people in russian and make misogynistic cracks. Unless he ends up in the cube next to me. If that happens I will make it my job to braoden his musical horizons. I believe our cubes are a depressing shade of grey but they may be beige.
I had to give a special "rah rah" cheer when the head jailer chose to speak to me yesterday. I said something like "deliverables!" or something of that nature. Maybe it was "increased conversion!"
I tried to sound engaged.
I love your cube stories FB!
I cannot believe this white tennis shoe black stretch pant abomination that you must contend with. It is dour, it is unright. Maybe Roman games will be enacted in this "pit"? I bet you could give them all a fluid burning in the vessels with the right weapon from your hanging stomach.
there is a strange, but pleasant russian next to me right now too! I hear his special talking often.
We were talking about the "joyless eating" phenomenon, OCD compulsions of some of the drones here when they eat there sandwiches at their desks. there are many, many bizarre people in beige world. the non-talkers, the drones, the chumps. I have also identified the new-yorker cartoon refrigerator person.
I pray for Roman games. My coworker has promised me he will bathe in the waterfall near reception every morning, greeting the drug advertising heavies who are promising to visit. I know not what color my new cell will be. There is rumor of natural light.
I am freed from the jail now. so long chumper beigers. I must move to the light.
oh god, jousting and the use of a mace would liven things up in the pit. So would tigers. Saber tooth tigers, especially.
Ham Paw, are you a sir? You seem hermaphroditic, like a chump in disguise.
I do not believe that about you ham paw. You are not a chumpy.
FB I didn't even realize this at the time but I accepted a chump hat on Friday. I was so surprised by the gift from the good wizard of marketing (not the hooker) that I didn't realize that the gift was chump change in disguise. I do not hold this agains the wizard as we are friends. But you will not see me walking around on the streets in a baseball hat that says "Shopzilla.com" on the front of it. It is not only the t-shirts that define the chumps. Headgear is also prevalent.
Yes, I advise against the shopzilla cap unless you are painting your apartment. chumpwear comes in unsuspecting shapes and sizes - tread carefully. windbreakers are the most offensive example of chumpwear I believe.
minerva and I have decided that all chump gear is foul however, ink pens or other office supplies are somewhat okay. They are okay as long as they are not taken off the jail grounds or out of cube world.
ink pens are always acceptable. you are right. visors are not.
ooof visors. I feel about them the way I feel about cafeteria food and pan pipes. blech.
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