lazies

I have been incredibly lazy as of late. Cannot work up the spirit to do anything or care. This happens sometimes, right? It will pass. Mostly I could care less about art. I don't know what happened. anyone? anyone?

up all night

yo. it's 5:12am. once again i am plagued by the non-sleeps. how are you? here are some theories for future living:

1. calm down
2. don't freak out in the shack, ie don't have a spaz constantly because you don't remember how to make paintings or even know what you want to f'ing make. just continue. see #1.
3. smarten up at beige. i have been unfocused, which happens. mostly i am more interested in talking to people there than working on improving my skills and really, uh, i don't know, getting serious about my work. i don't know. i need to step back a little and self protect. don't want to get in too deep in any direction. i need to disentangle a little bit me thinks. this is quite possible.
4. get rebellious streak out of system. i think it may be over today - at least for now. cannot explain why.
5. try to not have insomnia.

nar

super awesome fucked up shit yeah ok right sure what? ok so yeah huh? ok.

i have been so super excited to watch the oscars. i love the pretty movie stars they work so hard and it is so cool when they accept their awards. i cry.

demons are at work. can you tell? they are telling me the new relic may be a disaster and this is crampy. i worry. i am finishing the wine. it will tell me what to do.

(ps. I am officially off the wagon for a bit and have returned to the previous incarnation of the fb. PRO FUN. I don't know how i did it for so long even though sometimes it was kind of fake. I prefer the booze although I have been fuzzy brained all day today which is new. I forgot about that. However I am in a much better mood. Less grim times.)

I am going to try to write on here again. And not suck ass posts like this maybe even.

cursed

CURSED. This is how it appears to me. Death sickness with stabbing pain of the ear lobe - true. Jury Duty while sick. Constant freezing-ness and shiverings. Cannot get warm. Theory. The sickness was coming on but i did not feel too shitty so I went to my normal acupuncture app't. I have this feeling that at that time it opened up the channels for the sickness to delve deeper and harder. I have been dog sick with crazy temps. Could this be?

Jury duty case is a pack of retardation.

xavier: renegade angel

this show is fucking brilliant. for the love of jesus you show tivo it - adult swim.



i must also share this.

rat army asleep

There are punishments to be meted out. Canings and water-boardings. The rat army has been negligent in protecting my domicile. How long have they been sleeping on the job? Gambling and carousing, skateboarding, reading poetry, reading Us Magazine. Last evening Arthur carefully removed the legs from our old 50's style formica-topped dining room table. We placed the pieces lovingly outside, leaning them against our gate so that some person(s) or creature(I'm not species-ist) could perhaps take them into their home. for free. I returned from the studio last evening to find that the aluminum around the table top had been stripped off. The rat army did not protect! some shithead took the metal to sell for the cracks leaving a completely unusable table top. Sigh. Then some other shithead(s) came and left their black scratchy signatures upon our gate posts. What the f is going on?! Rat army - have you forgotten me?

jazzed

arthur and i are home now. i am ready to get jazzed up about painting and not feel the crippling concrete blocks. we have a new tree outside. this is all i can offer now. me=boring. plus i am trying the optimism thing again.